Well, since some of us are strolling down memory lane with their wedding day stories, I’d like to share mine with you as well. My first wedding (yes first) was on July 19th, 1986. I was 20 at the time. If I had to do it all again, I would NOT have gotten married to this man. In fact, I almost called it off the week before the event. I came real close to telling my mother and I think she sensed it and started to remind me about how much she spent on my wedding … you know, the guilt trip thing. Anyway, my wedding reception had 550 people in attendance. That’s funny because I recall only having 500 people on the final guest list. I had a maid of honor, three bride’s maids and a flower girl. My wedding gown was white, of course (shut up KC and Dennis), and it had a 15-foot train. It was detachable for dancing later in the night. The guys wore gray and the girls wore pink. One thing about living in Hawaii, at most weddings here, people tend to incorporate many ethnic traditions into one wedding. For instance, at my wedding, my step dad who gave me away made the first toast at the reception. He did it in Japanese. There’s a Filipino tradition where the bride and groom dances and the guests comes up and puts money somewhere strategically on the bride and the groom is supposed to grab it with his mouth and put it into a container, usually held by the maid of honor. People were getting pretty much perverted, sticking dollar bills into my cleavage and such. Most of the night was spent on the dance floor on my part. It wasn’t until the next day where I heard all the stories that was going on at the reception. The funniest of stories were the long lost cousins on the hubby’s side that didn’t know they were related were hitting on each other. All in all, we made a nice small fortune … let’s just say enough for a down payment on a brand new house was made that night and then some. This marriage lasted 6 years … two years together, 4 years in court.

My second wedding was on April 14, 2000. Since I already had the huge wedding, we went small and intimate this time around. There were 45 people at the reception. This time was simply cocktails and appetizers. To this day I still don’t know what possessed me to marry this man … come to think of it, the other one as well. This sounds fucked-up but I regretted marrying this man the day after the wedding. Things went downhill real fast. Without having to go into detail of what happened, and I will get into that when I’m ready to, we split this past January … just a mere 9 months later. I’m still legally married to him only because the Army screwed me over. I have to do the paper work all over again and have his worthless ass served … hopefully sometime soon. Can I pick ‘em, or what? Live and learn, I guess.

I don’t know if I see a third one any time soon. Yeah, John and I have talked about it … hypothetically of course … I like when we talk hypothetically. Before we can even seriously talk marriage, we need to get our lives in order … he also has a divorce to finish … and we need to know each other better, amongst other things.

Well, enough walking down memory lane … it’s making me gag. I gotta go pee now, so I’ll end here.
Have a great weekend you all, and be safe.

Hapa

I don’t know why my son Chris neglected to tell me about a certain anthrax incident that happened at his school yesterday. Apparently a Sophomore did a dumbass thing by sprinkling baking powder with sugar all over some stairway at the school. He was arrested and now is in his parent’s custody. If I were his mom, his ass would be fired up as we speak. People do the stupidest things.

Ok, so Chris is headed to DC, Pennsylvania and New York next month. This makes me nervous more so now because of all the anthrax scares going on especially in those areas. In Hawaii alone we’ve had three post offices closed down because packages were found to be suspect. There’s supposed to be another parent meeting, an open discussion, to go over what precautions and such the administrators and band directors will be taking while on this trip.

I’ve been catching up on some reading lately … blogs written by friends … and apparently there’s some contest going on between the women. I’ve been given the rules of this game and I still say that pictures should be involved … preferably videos. It involves pleasing yourself with toys and from what I’ve been reading these women are into a specific toy that is manufactured in Japan. Guess what ladies … I’ll be in Japan in less than two years and I’ll be in the area that produces these wonderful mechanical devices … neener. I’ve discussed this contest with John and needless to say we are going toy shopping real soon.

Well, I am going back to watching my soaps, so I’ll be blogging later …

Aloha,
Hapa

Man, where do I begin? I’m just going to write whatever comes to my head at the moment. First, on the 10th made two months that I have been with John. In that time we’ve had three arguments … not fights, but arguments. Because of my stubbornness, I almost lost him the second time we had a gap in our communication. When we met, I had all kinds of walls up and I was going to be damned I let another man take advantage of me or hurt me in any way. John is very easy to talk to and he is very good in communicating. Somewhere along the way I kinda forgot how to open up and express how I feel. My pattern was simple … I kept things in until I couldn’t take it anymore and whomever I was with at the time felt my wrath. It’s refreshing to be in a relationship where I can express myself without being ridiculed or told that my feelings didn’t count. John is so easy going and relaxed 99% of the time. His life is simple and his motto is even simpler … you either love him or hate him. The people who love him he cherishes with all his heart and would do anything for them. The people who hate him (if there are anyone who does) are missing out on one wonderful human being, and I am lucky he loves me as well.

John’s mother and grandmother were here in Hawaii for a little over a week and just left yesterday. These women are two of the funniest people I’ve ever met. My daughter Sianna had a blast with them as well. The whole time they were here, they stayed on John’s boat that is anchored a Ko ‘Olina Harbor. He has a 30-ft (give or take a few feet) twin engine boat. He originally bought it for fishing although it is not quite a fishing boat … it’s more of a leisure boat. It has two bedrooms, a bathroom, an area for cooking, and an area with a table and chairs for eating. He also has a TV with a VCR. Up until last night we missed his boat terribly. John’s boat has been in dry dock for a month because his engines were shot and he was working on them. He finally got it back in the water the day before his parents got here, and we spent last night in it. He still has to do one more days work on it before we can actually take the boat out for a spin. I can hardly wait.

The people I work for just laid off hundreds of people, which eventually resulted in a closedown of one of their restaurants in Waikiki. That really sucks for them because they just opened it this past May. Now they’re talking about laying off employees at the restaurant I work at. These people, from what I now see, are laying off people not by seniority, but by performance. In a way I guess that is good, but these people who were laid off in the last few weeks were with this company from the get go and have practically dedicated their life to these people. They have put the company first with family and everything else second and they got laid off while a handful of people who were with the company a few months are still there. I’m talking about our management staff, and from what I hear, there was a lot of backstabbing going on. All I have to say is that what comes around goes around.

Well, Chris is still going to New York next month for the parade. There were talks going around about canceling the trip after what happened there last month, but made the right decision to carry on with plans. We shouldn’t let fear run our lives, and I am glad that the band directors felt the same. So, I went and ordered his thermal underwear and I just ordered some flannel-lined jeans from Eddie Bauer last week. I took him to Pac-Sun the other day to buy him a Hurley beanie (a reversible on at it too) … I still tell Chris that I look better in it than he does. I also took him last week to get his flu shot. No sense in spending all that money, practicing 5 days a week, and getting sick at the last minute then NOT march in the parade. He’s paying for it now … he’s been sick the past few days … a big baby too.

Well, dinner is ready so I’m outta here for now … catch up with you all later!

Hapa

I know, I got a lot of catching up to do. Thought I'd make a short post while Chris is getting ready for the Homecoming Parade which is to start in an hour. Hopefully by Monday I'll have pictures up for all to see. For those inquiring minds ... yes, I'm still with J and things are wonderful ... he's a keeper. Well, Chris needs help with his tuxedo so I'm out of here.

Laters,
Hapa

I got some time before J stops by from getting off of work. It’s been an amazing past almost three weeks for me. I love every minute I spend with J. It kinda scares me because everything is moving so fast, a good fast, and things couldn’t get any more perfect it’s like I’m almost waiting for something to go wrong. Hey, what can I say … for at least the past 10 years or so I’ve been let down by every single man I have been with. I can feel it inside that J is most definitely different. My kids like him, which shocks me. I guess because they see how happy I am, it makes them happy.

To keep all of you updated, Chris won for Homecoming Court. He got the phone call from the committee this past Sunday night. We went tuxedo fitting last night and I must say he looks awesome in a tux. I guess they had some kind of picture taking today because his partner, the attendant, came over to match what they were going to wear. I can’t wait … Homecoming is on the 14th of next month. I’m already taking that day off and most likely the next day. I am so happy for Chris. He wasn’t always this outspoken and full of confidence. All through elementary he was pretty much to himself. He came out of his shell in the 7th grade by running for class Treasurer, in which he won. Ever since then I can’t seem to shut him up. He’s currently Freshman Class VP and has plans to be Class President next year, all I have to say is good luck.

Let’s see … what can I say about J? If he were just another one of boy toys, I’d be writing some mad shit right about now. Nothing bad, mainly about how good or bad the sex is, stuff like that … hehe … but like I said, it’s different with him, and I respect his privacy. Besides the fact that I want to ask for his permission to get into more detail about him for the sake of my audience’s reading pleasure. So, until then, I’ll just say everything has been awesome … and I mean EVERYTHING if ya get my drift.

Well, my baby will be over in a little so I will end here. If you’re reading this Pasco, call sometime … sheesh. I seem to always miss you at work. I can’t decide if it’s a good or bad thing … hehe.

Laters,
Hapa

I can’t believe I have been neglecting my readers. Didn’t mean to, but I’ve been busy. So, for now, all I can do is fill you in and feed your voyeuristic tendencies.

I had mentioned in an earlier post at what a certain word could do to your social life when mentioned in your AOL profile. Well, let me tell you … I got myself a lot of action. So, up until this past Friday night, I am known as a “playa” at work. I just laugh … in a way it’s been true, but hey, these guys I chose to be with knew the rules of engagement. It’s great having FTF’s … no commitment, no emotional crap, just strictly sex. However, this pineapple is giving up the field … and happily let me mind you. The love bug has smote me. I don’t know how it happened, but I’m glad it did. I never, EVER, believed in love at first sight, but dammit, it does really happen. Geez, I know I’m gonna hear it from Pasco one day at work.

It’s funny how fate plays into one’s life. I met J Friday night in an AOL chat room, not any chat room, but a chat room I used to frequent 3 years ago. For some unknown reason I decided to go into this room again before I signed off for the night. Let me remind you … my two little boy toys that I was involved with were met through IM’s, and it was strictly cat and mouse play. Down to the point, no fucking around (well yeah, there was fucking around … ), no phone calls the next morning, no mushy huggy kissy crap … although those things are wonderful with the right person … Anyway, I get an IM from J and the rest is history. I won’t get into detail as to what our conversation was, but just to say he was different. I got a liking on the PC but it wasn’t until we talked on the phone after that it started to hit me. I know what you all are thinking … and I am here to say that Internet hook-ups do really work out for the good. I have been witnessed to the beginnings of relationships that ended up in marriage, and I am glad to say that even after 4 years they are still happily married. So, we must have been on the phone almost 4 hours talking. Before hanging up, we made a date to meet each other after I got off of work that night. Let me tell you, it was a LONG night at work for me. J on the other hand, was sleeping. He went fishing about 10 miles off the shore with a friend on his boat, and I guess with that and the age factor he was tired. All kidding aside, J is 5 years younger than I am. I have never seen a problem where age is an issue. I have dated men that were anywhere up to 13 years older than me down to 14 years younger than me. I have never really been with a guy that has made feel as comfortable as J does. I still have walls up, but he makes it so easy to break them down. He is nothing like my past relationships, and I have a real good feeling about him. So, Malia and Jodi, I don’t want to hear it … not yet anyway. I love you guys. My kids know about him and I have told them that whenever they were ready to meet J that will be the time to do so. I was shocked to hear Chris announce that he wanted to meet him. I know he and Sianna still have concerns and are worried about me, but they have told me over and over again that they will be content as long as he makes me happy. J has made me extremely happy these past few days. He’s open and down to earth. He makes me feel special and tells me that I am. I could go on and on about this wonderful man, but perhaps in another entry. I’m seeing J tonight and I need to get some rest. If you are reading this J, hugs and kisses to you … and Baby is coming home with me tonight … hehe.

Well, it’s that time again … football season. Oh yeah, before I forget, Chris was nominated for Homecoming Freshman Escort … voting is next week … good luck babe. I can’t wait for Monday Night Football … I have yet to decide which team to go with this year. All those butts on National TV … who could ask for anything more? Not me.

On that note … enjoy the rest of the week …

Hapa

Hawaiian Names of the Day:

Kanike – Janice

Kenike – Dennis

Lolina – Lori

Mikale – Michael

Pakelekia – Patricia

Palaina – Brian


Up until this past Monday I was on percocet for some pain I was having in my uterus. It’s been two days that I have been on it and I feel soooooo much better. I can think a whole lot clearer and I don’t feel so sluggish anymore. While I was on it however, I was feeling good. Overall, I prefer not to have to be on it. So, now I’m back catching up on my entries.

It’s amazing how one word can bring out the loony tunes. A couple of days ago I updated my AOL profile and in the ‘hobbies’ category I mentioned the word ‘sex’. Jeez Louise, it was like a full moon was out and the majority of the horny men in Hawaii was sending me instant messages all night that first night I had it in there. When I sign on, I get the usual IM’s … ya know, from friends and a few (like one or two) IM’s from people I don’t know. Not the past couple of nights. You mention the word ‘sex’ and they all IM you asking they typical questions; age, sex, location, what I look like, what positions I like, blah blah blah. Well, one guy in particular was pretty sure of himself. He sent me a picture of his penis … that by the way dubbed the subject of the e-mail “the gift”. He claimed his penis was 8”x3”, so I said send it. Let me tell ya, it didn’t look no 8”x3”. He kept saying it was the width of his wrist. No way … just by looking at my wrist his penis did NOT look like the width of anyone’s wrist. I guess he got all offended and shit accusing me of not believing him. So I kept on saying that I did believe him and it was the picture that didn’t look like it (hah). Then he sends me a picture of what he looked like. He’s a hottie … if that’s really him in it. So, as the conversation progressed, we started to talk about endurance and stuff of that nature. Then he asked me to come over to his place or vice versa. Of all night that I could have gotten lucky, I was on the freakin percocet and I already had two glasses of wine. So I asked him for a raincheck and he’s been bugging me ever since. Besides, there’s someone else that I’m interested in. More on that at a later time.

I swear to God the vibes at work now days are fucked up. This past Monday night for instance … I wasn’t even supposed to be there but I switched so I could have tonight off to watch my son perform. Anyway, several weeks ago a bulletin came out saying how we can no longer request days off and that if we needed time off we were to take it upon ourselves to find a replacement after the schedule was out. How STUPID is that? It’s bound to cause all kinds of shit. Well, shit is what happened Monday night at work. It started off with the night manager coming in to work and asking me what I was doing there at work. So I told him how it was cool with the other manager and I was able to switch with the other bartender. Needless to say he looked rather upset. About an hour later one of the waitresses came to work and told this same manager that she was going to switch one of her nights with someone who also agreed. She just needed him to switch it on the schedule. Apparently words were said and he went off on everyone that was in the kitchen. It’s not our fault that management said we couldn’t request off anymore. Dumbasses. If that’s not all, about another hour later the same manager got into it with one of the cooks on the line. The general manager was also there witnessing all of this. Our GM is an ass … no one likes him there. I have no respect for him. He’s a hypocrite. He got on me one say for swearing … I said ‘fuck’ and he didn’t like that. He then proceeded to discipline me in front of everyone. Needless to say I was PISSED! It’s ok for him to swear but we can’t … how fucked up is that? Then, I hear other people say a lot more profanity than I’ve ever done and he says nothing to them. In fact, he’s made several comments to some of my co-workers that would constitute sexual harassment, and of course they’re too fucking afraid to take it to the owner. I just shake my head in disbelief. Then again, the owner, from what I’ve heard is another story in itself.

Today is the last day of Chris’s “Hell’s Week” at band practice. Poor thing, he comes home from practices all tired and usually goes straight to bed. He doesn’t even have the strength to eat dinner most nights. Since it is the last day of “Hell’s Week”, the tradition is to do the whole show in front of family and friends at the highschool stadium. This starts at 5pm today. Sianna and I caught a glimpse of the first half of the show yesterday. We went an hour early before practice ended to watch. Not bad … it could have been a whole lot better. I remember when I had “Hell’s Week” some 20 years ago. We were awesome at the end of camp. I used to be a flag girl during marching season, and I was a bit disappointed at what I saw yesterday. Some of the girls still don’t know how to march, and others were uncoordinated. The band was getting yelled at the whole time Sianna and I was there. I liked the percussion section … I guess I was a bit prejudiced because Chris was in there. They were on it. Last year the percussion section had a small group. This year they have 20 people. I like to see a big percussion sections. I can’t wait to watch the whole show tonight.

I’m outta here … got shit to do before the show … until later,

Hapa

I must have seen just about everyone I know tonight at work … or so it seemed. It’s been over a week since I last seen Pasco. She and her family came over for dinner to celebrate her parent’s anniversary. Another co-worker and his family dropped by for dinner later in the night and also sat in my section. My friends C and Wes came by and sat at the bar to keep me company. We’re making plans to all go out dancing. Besides chitchat, they wanted to make appointments to be massaged. So, I gave them my schedule and we’re gonna work out something. I told them I was pretty much booked through the second week of August, but since they’re such good friends I told them I’d try to squeeze them in next week. You guys owe me big time.

So, I get home from work tonight and what do I see as I walk in the door? MY son’s hair is now RED … not auburn, not strawberry blonde, but RED. It’s one of those effects dyes. Anyway, it looked good, except for the hairstyle. You see, today at band practice it was ‘bad hair day’ for the percussion section. Chris’s hair was all bunched up into sections then hair sprayed into place. Kinda like a bunch of mini palm trees all over his head. Tomorrow at practice will be ‘ghetto day’. He wants me to do corn rolls on his head. His hair is way too short for that. We’ll see … he’s experimenting with his hair as we speak. I can’t wait till next week Wednesday when we get to see all the hard work the band has been doing and get to watch the show.

I was telling Pasco tonight that Queen and I were talking shit about her and that I was talking shit on my website … hehe … she’s so gullible. I love her though, that’s what makes it so easy. You know what they say … the more shit you say about a person means the more you love them. Well Pasco, we most certainly love your ass.

This past school year I was my son’s school’s PTSA Newsletter Editor. I made a verbal commitment to stay on regardless to the fact that I have no kids at the intermediate this new school year. I think I may have to resign after all. With my new hours at work, being a chaperone for the band, my massage, and my health issues, I don’t think I’ll have neither the time nor the energy to be the Editor. I’ll probably stay on for the first 2 months … at the least … until they can get someone else.

Ok, so I call to make my flight reservations today and I find out that I no longer have enough miles to fly first class . It used to be 60,000 for r/t first class to anywhere on the mainland. It’s now 80,000 miles to do that. Needless to say I was pissed. If I had made the reservations a little over a week ago, I would have been able to acquire my tickets at 60,000. Now I’ll have to pay the difference to fly first class. It’ll probably end up being the cost of flying r/t coach. I don’t care … as I said last night; I will NEVER fly coach again! I’m spoiled like that.

I’m having a writer’s block now so I guess I’ll end here and go play a game or two of upwords before I hit the hay. Have a great weekend, and be safe.

Love ya’s,

Hapa

No Hawaiian words or names tonight, however, a reader asked about the pronunciation and I’m going to try and explain it as simply as I can … here goes.

Basically, Hawaiian is a dialect of Polynesia. Other variations are spoken by Samoans, Maoris and Tahitians.

The Hawaiian alphabet consists of only 12 letters. They have the same vowels and the consonants are limited to H, K, L, M, N, P, and W. The vowels are pronounced as followed:

A as in tall
E as in vein
I as in sleep
O as in old
U as in soon

Every word has to end in a vowel. Every consonant must be followed by at least one vowel. Every syllable has to end in a vowel. The easiest way to pronounce Hawaiian words would be to divide the words into syllables.


Yayaya … aunt Flo has come and gone, and I feel a whole lot better. I just need to flush the narcotics out of my system and get rid of this yucky feeling.

I like to mention when I have new readers. In the past month when I was not making my entries, I had some e-mail from friends of readers asking when I was going to post. Well, here it is, and there will be more to come. So, I would now like to welcome my new readers ... one group of people in particular. I’ll call them my PBG sisters (pain be gone). Ever since my health issues last year, I have come across several support groups both online and at the hospital I go to. One group of ladies I have gotten close to (Jan, Andrea, Cookie, Kaui, Missy, Darnelle and Peanut) are now readers of my online journal and I would like to say ‘hi’ and thanks for stopping by. If it weren’t for their support I don’t know how I would have made it these past several months.

I would also like to welcome a possible new reader. For now I’ll call him Fire Jock. He came across my name last night in AOL’s member directory (I assume) and we started talking through instant messages and it turns out we went to the same highschool. He’s an ’81 grad, and I was an ’83 grad. In highschool he was a jock, he played football, baseball and track. He went on to play football for the University of Hawaii and now he’s a fireman. I, on the other hand, pretty much kept a low profile throughout highschool. I was in the marching band as a flag girl and I played the drums during concert season. I was in several clubs and committees, and that was the extent of my involvement in school. Outside of school was a different story. My closest friends were not the friends I hung out with at school. Jodi and Malia were graduates of St. Andrews and Aiea High. They were (and still are) my comrades. We’ve known each other since we were younguns. Jodi, as you remember, is the flight attendant, and Malia is the one who now lives in Colorado. We were the slut sisters and we were proud of the fact. Back then, in the early ‘80’s, the drinking age was 18. We were night clubbing at 15. It helps when a friend’s sister is dating the bouncers, bartenders, etc. Anyway, welcome to my journal … and you can hose me down anytime = )

Hey Pasco, was your ears ringing at around 3pm today?? Cause me and Queen was talking shit about you … LMAO! Just kidding … maybe.

Did I mention that I have a new Christmas song? I bought the new Blink 182 CD when it first came out a little over a month ago, it’s a really great CD. Here’s a few lines from my favorite song on it … it’s called ‘Happy Holidays You Bastard’:

It’s Christmas Eve and I only wrapped two fuckin’ presents
It’s Christmas Eve and I only wrapped two fuckin’ presents
And I hate, hate, hate your guts
I hate, hate, hate your guts
And I’ll never talk to you again
Unless your dad will suck me off
And your mom will touch my cock
Ejaculate into a sock …

Ahhh, lyrics like these makes me misty all over …

Ok, I’m outta here … Chris officially starts ‘Hell’s Week’ in the morning and I’m making lunch for him. For the next week, he has band practice from either 9-6pm or 1-10pm. He’s getting such a nice tan.

Laters,

Hapa

Hawaiian Names of the Day:

Aalona – Aaron

Lopaka – Robert

Kamuela – Samuel

Makaleka – Margaret

Lahela – Rachel

Kelika – Theresa


Day 5

It’s amazing what the female body can endure … I guess that’s why we are the stronger sex. I’d love to see the day that men give birth to babies; that men can get periods; that men have to work a little extra harder to lose their extra weight and so on and so forth.

not in my lifetime, I guess.

It’s now my 5th day with aunt Flo. She’s a bitch ya know. I hate being on medication … I don’t like the feeling or moods it puts me in. Today was the first day really since Friday that I stepped out the door without the help of my prescription. Of course when I got home I went back on it. I should be a lot better by tomorrow. I think the kids suspect something. I don’t want to say anything to them about possible surgery until I speak to my Obstetrician. They already have a lot on their minds with going back to school next week and all. My son is more observant however. He’s very over protective where I’m concerned. He’s a sweetheart … a bitch at times, but overall a good boy. He’s made comments the past couple of days and I make like I don’t hear him, or I change the subject. Even better, the phone will ring and it’s one of his friends. We’ll se what happens next week.

I mentioned earlier that Chris is going to New York for the Macy’s Parade in November. Last night I ordered him a Visa Buxx card from Capital One. I put an initial $100 into it to open his account. Thank God for that. I was stressing myself about him carrying large sums of cash when he leaves for his trip. Luckily I saw a commercial for the card several months ago. It’s pretty neat. He learns how to budget his money, family/friends can go to the website and put monies into his card (it’s a refillable card), he can even take monies out from an ATM. Now I have to figure out how much more money I want to put in it. It’s like having an actual credit card, without all the finance charges. It has the Visa logo and he can use it anywhere places accepts Visa … geez, I sound like a commercial.

So, as I was saying, I have this secret admirer. For the past three to four weeks now I have been getting little cards, a rose here a rose there either on my car or on my screen door at home. All I know is that it’s someone who knows where my new place is and where I work. I have already confronted two people and they both denied it. So, what do I do now? I still say it’s Matthew, but why would he be so anonymous? Who knows. So, until I find out who it is, I’ll just sit back and enjoy the little gifts I’m receiving … thank you, you secret admirer you.

It’s true what they say … that once you fly first class you can never go back to coach. I love first class. Business class is pretty good too. I will never fly coach again. I’m booking my flight to New York hopefully by next week, first class of course. I got frequent flyer miles. This free flight is courtesy of Northwest. I also have FFM with Hawaiian Airlines, Continental, United, and Quantas. I used to go on a lot of business trips and was able to keep the miles even after I left the companies.

Well kiddies, I’m off to bed. I have a client at 9 am and I need to get my massage equipment packed … the bitch is loading the table into the car. Until next time…

Hapa

“No … land in all the world has any deep, strong charm for me but that one; no other land could so longingly and beseechingly haunt me sleeping and walking, through half a life-time, as that one has done. Other things leave me but it abides; other things change but it remains the same. For me its balmy airs are always blowing, its summer seas flashing in the sun; the pulsing of its surf-beat is in my ear; I can see its garlanded crags; its leaping cascades; its plumy palms drowsing by the shore; its remote summits floating like islands above the cloud rack; I can feel the spirit of its woodland solitude; I can hear the plash of its brooks; in my nostrils still lives the breath of flowers that perished twenty years ago.”

-Mark Twain


Sorry folks … no Hawaiian words or names tonight, just a little catching up to do in the venting department.

I know, I know … it’s been several weeks since my last post, and I apologize to my loyal readers … you too Pasco.

Where do I begin? First off, I would like to say a big mahalo to Matthew, a.k.a. Monkeyboy, for everything he has done for me these past few weeks which brings me to tonight’s quote. I have lived here in Hawaii all of my life and I hate to admit it, but I have taken this place I call home for granted. I have been to many places around the world and I have yet to see anywhere else as beautiful as here. Some have come close. Just close. Matthew has shown me places I haven’t even been to in all of the 35 years I’ve lived here. I’ve heard stories about a few of the places, but never seen them. Nothing big, mind you, just little away-from-it-all places that he knew about that I apparently didn’t. I can’t wait for friends to visit so I can show them the beauty that he has shown me.

I hate it when I have no control over my body. I hate feeling vulnerable. Over the two months that I have been blogging, I have mentioned about the health problems that I have been experiencing. Well, I’m going through it all over again. It looks like I’ll be having surgery once again. Most of you know that I had an exploratory Laparoscopy done this past September and that I went on Lupron and HRT this past January-March. My last period was the first week of January and the Lupron made my body stop making the hormones that starts your menstruation … like going into a temporary state of menopause. Well, it’s been a little over 6 months and I finally started my period this past Friday and it’s been nothing but hell for me. I had to leave work an hour into my shift today because the headaches and cramping was so bad. I just got back a little while ago from the ER because I was so nauseated that I needed to take something for it. I ended up getting a shot. I got some “happy pills” as well … thank God for painkillers. I’ve been on so many painkillers this past year alone, my body is pretty much immune to them. The worst was the morphine after the surgery. That shit fucked me up. Anyway, I go in to see my OB in two weeks to discuss the options as well as a pap smear … I’m just the luckiest girl in the whole world! Whatever … oh yeah, I also made the FINAL decision to get myself fixed … gonna get my tubes tied. What the hell, since I’m going under the knife anyway … why not. I think I’m going to wait till early next year though. I have a lot going on in the next several months with the New York trip and the chaperone duties and all. So, that means all of you will have to put up with my bitching and moaning until it happens. Hehe.

I’ve noticed that my life runs in a weird pattern. I seem to be at my worst every 7 years. Or at least the last 14 years have been that way for me. I guess it all started with the happiest point … the birth of my son a little over 14 years ago. Then it goes downhill from there. The legal separation, then my mother passing away. It started getting better with the birth of my daughter 4 years later, then the finalization of my divorce two years after that, then the big ass inheritance. Things are great the next couple of years. New car, new home, some traveling with the kids, life is great. I had to go and mess things up in bad relationships. Live and learn. I end up getting into a really bad car accident; got a really big settlement the following year, now here’s the pattern … my dad passes away soon after. Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, I meet the man whom I ended up marrying three years later … you all know him, the devil himself. At least this time around my divorce won’t take no fucking 3 and a half years in court. I had the divorce all planned out too … I wanted to send a birthday present to him, one he wouldn’t forget … that was to sign the papers on his birthday this past Thursday the 19th. Thanks to the Army, however, things didn’t go as planned. It’s ok though … this second “cycle” has ended and things are great for me now. A divorce in the horizons, a change in my schedule at work, a new massage license, a new home for new memories, and just enjoying being single again and enjoying my kids. All I have to do is get over the health thing and I’ll be perfectly fine.

I miss my friends on the day shift at work. Actually, I miss harassing Pasco … and who wouldn’t? She’s an easy target. I DON’T miss getting up early though. I am NOT the morning person. I now sleep in as late as 11am most mornings. The dinner shift is fun. I work with a lot of young people … 18-20ish. The management is cool as well. The hours are way shorter and I make hella more money. I’m content. It gives me more time to play upwords online at games.com.

I’m gonna have to continue tomorrow, this meds is kicking my ass and I’m about to pass out. It feels great to be back online writing again. Next time I’ll tell you about my new secret admirer and that hopefully the pictures I have will load this time.

Until next time …

Hapa

Yes! I am STILL alive!

Hawaiian Names of the Day:

Keoki – George

Wene – Wayne

Kina – Diana

Luika – Louise


Well gee, I almost forgot that I had a website. It’s Friday morning about 10:30am, and I’m just killing time before my ride gets here. For the past two weeks I’ve been going out with my trainer Monkeyboy. We run just about every Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Fridays at 5am … yes, I said 5am … then we usually head out to the gym for some weight training. Well, this morning I felt lazy and didn’t make the run or the gym … it’s my day off damnit, I deserve a break. Besides, I didn’t really feel all that great this morning. About 6 weeks ago I was sparring with my son and I stepped wrong (luckily) and he kicked me good on the left side of my ribs towards the back … if I didn’t slip, he would have broken my ribs. I just ended up bruising them. Well, I think it was more than that because I still have a lot of pain in the same area. My doctor wants me to come in to take a few x-rays. Anyway, I’m waiting for MB to get out of a class he’s in. Then we’re off to the beach. I hate the beach. Actually I like the beach, I just hate being out in the sun. I had a very traumatic childhood where the sun is concerned. My mother didn’t believe in suntan lotion back in the 70’s, so I was burnt many times. They call it 2nd degree burns. I would have blisters the size of walnuts all over my back. That is why I don’t go to the beach very often.

I don’t know what to make of my friendship with MB. He’s been like my friend forever ... or at least it seems that way . We’ve gotten very close this past two weeks and I don’t want to ruin our friendship with sex. That’s what fuck friends are for. At the moment, my fuck friend is in a relationship so I can’t call him. I just realized that today, June 15, makes exactly 3 months since the last time I had it. I’m not really looking. I got more important things to take care of (more important than sex?). Going to work doesn’t help either … too many young guys there … young, cute, and a nice body like Jeremy. So, Andy is in a relationship now. He’s been with this girl for 6 months now … I give him another 2 months. For whatever reason it is, it always seems like his relationship lasts no more than 8 months … so I guess I’ll be seeing you, Andy, in two months. Haha. MB and I have already had “the talk”. I think it will be better to wait until my divorce is final before we get into anything … which by the way looks like it could be any time now.

I got Christopher’s Macy’s trip itinerary this past Tuesday night. I wanna go with him. I’m already planning a trip to NY for sometime in mid - late September. I’m wondering if I should just wait and go with him in November. I just don’t want to leave Sianna behind for Thanksgiving. She’ll still be with family, but it’ll be the first Thanksgiving away from her. I’d like to take her with us, but at $1550.00 a pop, it’s not really in my budget. I already had to put a $300 down payment for Chris Tuesday night with another $600 due on August 1st and the remaining balance (after fundraiser) due two weeks after that … and that’s just for Chris. He’ll be going to DC, then to Pennsylvania, then NY, overall an 8-day trip. The buzz is going around that either his Junior year or his Senior year he’ll be going to Japan or the Rose Bowl Parade, I think I’ll wait for that trip. I would love to go to Japan with the band, but I’d rather have Chris experience the opportunity to be in the two most prestigious parades in the world than go to Japan. He’s been leaning to march all this week. His first band practice was on Monday. I couldn’t wait to get home from work to find out what percussion instrument he was going to play. He wanted to audition for snare drums or quads. When I asked him, he said he got bells. Bells? I was hoping that he got a more masculine instrument. As I remember, the bells and the xylophone are the two most difficult things to play. So, I guess it was all right. They still haven’t auditioned yet, and he still wants to play the snare drums. Whatever he ends up with will be ok.

Well, MB is here; he says “hi”. Hope all of you have a terrific weekend. As for me, I know it’s going to be a blast. I have a bachelorette party tomorrow night and Sunday is Father’s Day … the last mega moneymaking day before the holiday’s creep up. Take care,

Hapa

Hawaiian Names of the Day:

Koma or Kamaki – Thomas

Anolu – Andrew

Kalohi – Dora

Kilikina – Christina


Thought I’d do something different … someone suggested to do names, so if you want to know your name just contact me.

How can I sum up this past week? It was pretty awesome! My son Chris won 4 awards this past week. He got two medals for a solo and ensemble performance on the mallets … he got a first place overall trophy for percussion/mallets … and he won a PTSA award for “Most Improved Student in Band”. He was also asked by the high school Band Director to audition for the highest band group at the high school – Wind Ensemble I. No one can just audition; you have to be hand selected to audition. The Band Director was very impressed with his performance at the Spring Concert last Wednesday, so he asked my son to audition this past Tuesday night at a mandatory incoming Freshman meeting.

This week I also sucked in some pride to resolve a matter I wrote about a few weeks ago. And I feel a whole lot better for it. I don't know what will become of the situation, but at least I got some closure. It was learning experience, and believe me, I learned. For future reference, I’ll have my guard up as to whom I can trust, and I’ll be quicker to confront the issues so it will not get out of hand.

I was talking to Pasco the other day. She was bitching about how come I hardly call her anymore. I’ve been busy. I finally called her the other day, and she STILL hasn’t returned my call. Wait till I see her ass tomorrow. Two days ago, I was updating my mail preferences and came across an old friend’s e-mail address. I thought I didn’t have it. So I wrote him. I’ve been trying to contact him for the longest time and finally gave up about two years ago. So, I wrote him and he responded within hours. It turned out that all that time I was trying to call him, I got two numbers mixed up … silly me. We were together at one time for about 6 years or so. Our situation was a bit complicated, but we seemed to find a way around it. We went our separate ways, but managed to remain friends. It’s been a little over two years since we last talked … we got a lot of catching up to do.

Well kiddies, I’m out of here … gonna finish watching “Interview With a Vampire” then it’s off to bed.
Have a terrific weekend,

Hapa

Pidgin Words of the Day:

Bumbye - soon enough, later

Garans (also garans ballbarans) - guaranteed, for sure

Howzit - pidgin for "aloha"

Juiced - rigged





Last night I had an entry to post, but for some unknown reason it vanished. Forty-five minutes of typing, checking my spelling and grammar, and making sure everything was ok before I posted went down the tubes. Sorry Pasco, my faithful reader.

So, I made it to Maui after work this past Saturday. It was pretty slow at work and I got cut early, enabling me to get an earlier flight out. When I got there, I eagerly made my way to Wailuku, about a 15-minute drive from the Airport, to a bakery called “Home Maid Bakery”. Maui is known for their manju and mochi, so of course I had to stop and get some before they closed. I spent a total of 4 hours in Maui … all because I had some paper work to sign. A long time friend of mine escorted me the whole time I was there. After business was taken care of, Beamer and I had dinner at a place called Koho’s in Kahului … about 10-minutes from the airport. I used to hate flying to Maui only because I used to work for this company that flew out there just about every week. The only bright spot of these trips was the chance to eat at Koho’s. There were a lot of times that a few of us would fly there just to have dinner. We started off with some appetizers. Beamer had the Super Nachos and I had the Fried Clams … yummmmm. For dinner, I had the Taco Salad and Beamer had the Chicken Fajitas. Of course we shared everything. The BEST part was dessert. OMG … I had this thing called “Da Kine Brownie”. It’s basically a hot fudge sundae with a gooey chocolate fudge brownie at the bottom. Beamer had the “Kilauea Snowball”. That is my second favorite dessert there. It’s vanilla ice cream rolled in graham cracker crumbs and deep- fried, then placed in a cinnamon tortilla shell. Then it’s drizzled with warm caramel and topped off with honey and walnuts. Beamer and I go way back. I went on a band trip my senior year to Maui, and one of the places we performed at was his high school. Almost got busted for sneaking him and his friends to my room. Hell, every band trip I went on, I almost get caught for doing something. I live for danger and excitement. Needless to say, Beamer and I have been good friends ever since. The original plan was to stay the night in Maui, then catch the first flight back so I could get to work by 7:00 a.m. I said fuck that shit and wrapped-up my busy early so I could get home that same night.

Yesterday I met up with Monkeyboy at the gym. Monkeyboy (he hates when I call him that) used to be my weight trainer back in 1994. Back then I was training to compete … until I got into a car accident in March of 1995. Since then, up until now, I could never get into the routine of seriously working-out. It’s not because of laziness or being undisciplined, it was because I had health problems that prevented me from doing so. Every time I would get a routine going, something else would happen. First was the accident, then I had surgery this past September, finally I dislocated my shoulder last October. I started running again two months ago along with lifting weights. That’s where ole Monkeyboy comes in. He’s agreed to train me again. This time it’s just to tone and strengthen. I’m up to a mere 15lbs when I bench press … a big difference to the 75-90+lbs I used to bench 7 years ago. I’ve enlisted his help only because I’ve hit a plateau. Between January and the end of February, I’ve gained 9lbs because of the endometriosis. It was a side effect of the synthetic hormones I was taking and the Lupron shots I was receiving. It took me a month to lose the 9lbs, and I have started to notice the tone in the muscles in my body.

This morning I had a massage client come over to my place for his appointment. For those of you who didn’t know, I do massage. So, days before his appointments I have to exercise my hands, especially the soft area between the thumb and pointer finger (that pressure point area). This client is a big boy. It’s like I get a workout when I massage him. He’s a really nice person, just some extra padding. What makes this person interesting is that he’s ticklish. I try to stay away from those spots, but you gotta do what you gotta do. I like working on him because I can incorporate all the techniques into his sessions like using my elbows … and I used my elbows a lot today. I’ll be seeing him once a month.

So, I’m leaving home to go to work tonight and I go to check the mailbox. Guess what I found? A summons for jury duty. Lucky me. Actually I like serving as a juror. I’ve done it twice before. You can learn a lot by serving as a juror. I don’t mind it. I’ve been fortunate to have trials that were high profile, so there was hardly a dull moment. The first one was back in 1987 and it involved 5 local college basketball stars that were arrested for cocaine possession. The second one was in 1991. This time it was another high profile case … murder 2nd degree. Happy to say that both cases were not guilty. In both instances, the State had a weak case. Anyhoo, I have to appear on the 25th of this month.

This post comes pretty late for me … it’s 2 a.m. and I still haven’t posted yet. That’s because I got an instant message from a new friend tonight. My new friend’s name is Willy. We’ve were talking for two hours and I got side tracked. If you’re reading this Willy, hi! Willy is 20 years old and he lives about 20 minutes from me. He’s in the Army … aviation. He’s stationed at Schofield Barracks. He might be coming over to visit me at work this Thursday night when I tend bar. I told him I might fix him up with one of the hostesses. Nice guy.

Well, I’m off to bed. My son’s intermediate school’s PTSA (which I am the Newsletter Editor) is sponsoring the annual Student Recognition Night tomorrow night and my son will be getting two awards, so I got some running around to do when I wake up.

Aloha kakou,

Hapa

Hawaiian Words of the Day:

Pomaikai – good luck

Hauoli – happiness

Akaaka – laughter

Hoomanawanui – patience

Holomua – success

Naauao – wisdom


Four hours in Maui. All because I had to sign some papers. That’s ok … I got to eat dinner at this awesome place called Koho’s. A friend of mine took me there en route to the airport. I love eating there. There have been many times that I have flown to Maui just to have dinner at Koho’s. Anyway, Beamer and I started off with some appetizers. He had the Super Nachos and I had the Fried Clams. For dinner, I had the Taco Salad and Beamer had the Chicken Fajitas. Of course we shared everything. The BEST part was the dessert! I ordered the “Da Kine Brownie”. OMG … it’s a hot fudge sundae with this gooey warmed brownie at the bottom. That is truly a Chocoholic’s dream. Beamer ordered the “Kilauea Snowball”. Another favorite dessert. It’s vanilla ice cream rolled in graham crackers and then I think it’s deep-fried for a second, topped with warm caramel in a cinnamon tortilla shell with honey and walnuts. I like going there with other people … you can sample what everyone else is eating. They have two locations. I’ve only been to the one in Kahului. It’s near everything. The location is about a 10-minute drive from the airport in the Kaahumanu Shopping Center. The other location in Napili, on the other side of the island, I hear is more of a tourist trap. It’s about a 15-minute drive from Kapalua Bay Resort (if I remember correctly). That is one of the most beautiful resorts I have ever seen in Hawaii. The golf course is awesome. I used to work for this company that did a lot of traveling, and that was one of the places we used to stay at. Talk about pamper.

The day started off rather sluggish for me. I did NOT want to go to work. Especially knowing that I had to rush to the airport after. It turned out to be a slow day and I got off earlier than expected. The same old shit … everyone picking on someone. Pasco cracks me up though. She has a love/hate relationship with just about all the men in that place. She just loves to hate them. One in particular … Robert … he’s one of the kitchen managers. Just about every time I turn the corner, they’re always at it. Sometimes I think something is going on that we don’t know about … hehe … I swear they fight like a married couple. I take it that Pasco got her brother Joe to check out my website. Now he’ll know the truth about his sister. Just kidding Pasco, maybe. By the way, does he know about that HICKY on your neck?? No?? Oops, sorry … hehe.

All I have to say is thank God I got a flight home tonight instead of staying overnight. I work at 7 in the morning, that would have been a bitch to make. Thanks to Hawaiian Airlines for their hospitality, as usual. The girls at ticketing were awesome. I had a nice time in Maui, which is unusual for me. I hate going to Maui. I used to fly there every week for business. It’s pretty nice now that I don’t have to anymore.

Hope you’re enjoying the rest of the weekend, catch you later …

Hapa

Hawaiian Words of the Day: as requested by Monkeyboy (there, I mentioned your name you bitch)


Makaio – Matthew (Monkeyboy’s name)

Hookahi – one

Elua – two

Ekolu – three

Eha – four

Elima – five

Eono – six

Ehiku – seven

Ewalu – eight

Eiwa – nine

Umi – ten


I thought I’d make an entry before I pack for my trip to Maui tomorrow. Today at work went by really fast today. I don’t know, maybe because all we did today was horse around. This new manager we have is really cool … he let’s us do just about anything … to a point … as long as we get our job done. Ok, like there is this really nice looking guy I work with. Nice to look at. Real nice body. Muscular, but not to an extreme. His name is Jeremy. He’s one of Queen’s many victims. Queen likes to harass all the guys, especially the busboys. They make it too easy. Anyway, Jeremy is 19. I like em young, but that’s too young for me. I was in such a great mood today, I decided to join in on the harassment. We all have one thing in common … we all like to pick on Pasco. She wasn’t there today, so it was open field for everyone. I just got a vision of Jeremy’s biceps … he’s got nice arms... no girlfriend either, what a shame. Ok, back to discussion at hand. Queen finally developed the pictures and I got my copy. I’ll try to have it scanned when I get back from Maui so I can post it for all of you.

I was at the gym today. Early this morning, before I got ready to go to work. So, I’m on this machine, the Precor. It’s like a stepper. I’m doing my thing, getting into my workout, and out of nowhere this bitch gets on the machine next to me. I swear to God, no exaggeration, she must have POURED a bottle of perfume all over herself. Lucky me had to be downwind of her smelly ass. So, I start sneezing and I’m telling the guy I was engaged in conversation with what that nasty smell was. She looked at me like who the fuck I was. Then I went off about women who workout with a shitload of makeup on their faces … like this chick had. This ain’t no fucking beauty pageant, ok? How the hell can anyone wear so much makeup then get all sweaty? It’s beyond me. All my friend could do was laugh. He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to fall off the machine. Well, miss stinky got the message, or something, cause she got off and moved to the other side of the room. Ohhhh yeah … fresh air once again.

Well people, I’m out of here. I’ve got to finish packing and get my paper work together. Have a great weekend, and I’ll catch you later!

Hapa

Pidgin Words of the Day:

An den – and then

Broke da mout’ – delicious tasting

Bussum out – share with me, I want some


First of all, I just wanted to say a big "happy birthday" to my friend Imua. Happy Birthday dude!

I am so tired I don’t even know why I bothered to sign on tonight. I just got back home from my son’s Band Concert. What was SUPPOSED to be for only an hour and 45 minutes turned out to be a little over three hours. It took that long because the Band Director is retiring and they decided to do a little tribute to him. So, the 7th grade band was the first to play … boring … I’m sorry, but they were. They played five quick songs, thank God. Second was the 8th grade band. They played four songs and they sounded really good. The stars of the show were the Symphonic Band that consists of mainly 8th graders and a handful of 7th graders. This band is commonly referred to as the “Top Band”. You had to be hand picked by the Director to play with this group. This was Christopher’s second year in this band. The first song they played was “The Great Gate of Kiev” from “Pictures at an Exhibition” by Modest Moussorgsky. The second piece was “Marche Militaire Francaise” by Camille Saint-Saens. The first of two of my favorite pieces tonight was “Machine” form “Fifth Symphony” by William Bolcom. Christopher was one of five students that were featured, he played xylophone. The 4th number was “Air for Wind” by Melvin Shelton. My next favorite piece was “Symphonic Movement” by Vaclav Nelhybel. Once again Christopher was featured with an awesome solo on the xylophone. I was VERY proud of him tonight. All the time Sianna was making the “choke” gesture, I was beaming with pride for my son. He did extremely well for someone who just started playing that instrument only 5 months ago. Next was “Pavanne” from “Symphonette No. 2” by Morton Gould. The finale of the show was “Man of La Mancha” by Mitch Leigh, arranged by Frank Erickson. All in all, the kids did an excellent job tonight.

I was gonna write a little review about the concert, I think I’ll save that for another time. I’m starting to pass out and I need some sleep. I have to get up early and pick up my plane tickets and do a whole shit-load of errands before my flight on Saturday. Someone else could have done what I need to do this weekend, but you know how that saying goes … if you want it done RIGHT the first time, you gotta do it yourself … or something like that. Oh well, I hear my bed a callin’…

Aloha po,
Hapa

Hawaiian words of the Day:

Aloha aui nala – good afternoon

Aloha po – good night

‘Olu ‘olu – please

Kala mai ia iu – excuse me


Hurricane season came 3 days early in the Pacific Ocean this year. The season starts on June 1st, and lasts through November 30th. The first one of the season is called Hurricane Adolph … just several miles off of Mexico. It’s been classified as a level 4 hurricane (maximum sustained winds of 131-155mph). As of yesterday, Hurricane Adolph had maximum sustained winds of 145mph. I’m a hurricane watcher. Actually, every year I bid on hurricanes. What we do is make a chart with dates – June 1st through November 30th – and whomever wanted to bid got to put their name on the chart and guess the date, time, level, what island it will hit and what the first letter of the hurricane’s name will be. So far, it’s been three years since anyone has won. So, the monies get carried over to the next year. We are long overdue for a hurricane. I think this may be the year for one. The last hurricane was back in September of 1992 … Hurricane Iniki. It devastated the island of Kauai. The one before that was Hurricane Iwa back in November of 1982 … just two days before Thanksgiving. That one happened my Senior year in highschool. It was awesome. The sirens went off during second period. Most of my friends headed for the North Shore … dumbasses … just to see the massive waves the storm was generating. Anyway, I got calls to make about a certain bet I want to wage.

Ok, now I’m sad. My friend Jodi left tonight. At this moment she is about 45 minutes into her flight. We had a nice time this visit. Too bad Malia couldn’t be here with us. We are making a pact, we got our 20th year highschool reunion coming up in two years, and we all agreed to be here.

I got an invitation the other day to a bachelorette party in June. My friend from work, Jen, is getting married. She invited a bunch of us from work and we found out that there will be strippers. Ahh strippers … I can’t wait. I’m saving up my dollar bills, baby! Two birthdays ago I had not one, but TWO strippers at my party. I got to know one of them a bit more intimately than the other one … if ya get my drift. I’m gonna get Queen to get all freaky with the stripper … I pity the guy, he won’t know what hit him.

Christopher will be having his Band Concert tomorrow night. It’s the last performance of the school year. He’s been stressful all month. He’s been given the most difficult pieces to play. He’ll be playing the snare drum, xylophone, tympani and bells. I’ll have a review of the concert in tomorrow’s entry. After the concert, Chris will be able to rest for about a week before he has to head up to the highschool to audition for what instrument he’ll play for the marching band. It was recommended that he audition for Quads. He wants to audition for either that, snare, or bells. Good luck sweetie!

It was an awesome Memorial Day Weekend … where the weather was concerned. Hardly a cloud in the sky. I don’t know what the fuck happened today though … out of nowhere came the rains. And it rained like a bitch! It just needs to slow the hell down before the weekend comes … which by the way, I am headed for Maui on Saturday. I got some business to take care of. More about that later.

I’ll be heading out of here now, long day tomorrow.

Behave and be safe,
Hapa

Pidgin Words of the Day:

Stink Eye – a dirty look, like right before a fight

Moke – big, tough local guy

Tita – a very tough chick, a girl who thinks she’s a guy

Hele on – let’s go, let’s get moving

Grind – eat

Bumbye – later on


As you know, I went out with Jodi last night. We had a blast! We stayed out till about 3am … only because I had to be at work by 8am and I wanted to sleep. Jodi has a lot of energy. Sometimes I envy her, but I would NOT trade in the life I have today for her lifestyle. The things she do and has done … I’ve been there, done that. I got kids now, and they are my life. Anyway, we went club hopping. I have to say men are pigs … well, not all of them. I love dancing, and when I go out to clubs I love freaking. Well, Jodi likes to freak as well, especially with other women (duh). We were just having a ball on the dance floor with all the looks we were getting from guys (and some stink looks from other women). Just because we dance a certain way does not mean we’re sluts, let alone easy … and no, we will not go home with you to have a threesome. And if you can’t take rejection, stay home and play with yourself. So, the women called us sluts … we just laughed at them. Why is it that two good friends can’t go out without being called names? It all boils down to jealousy/lack of self-esteem. I could care less of what people think about me. If they don’t like me, they’d better have a fucking good reason why. As the night went on, phone numbers were given out. Yeah, I gave my number out … hehe … actually what they got from me was the number to the State Mental Hospital that I always keep on me for such an occasion. I didn’t get any phone calls today … hehe.

Hmmm … I finally got in touch with Jodi since I last saw her early this morning. I think she got lucky. I pity the guy she was with. I wonder if she drew blood … haha. No, seriously … she’s into that shit. I like biting, drew some blood myself several times, but not to the capacity she’s accustomed to. Anyway, she hasn’t given any details yet, but she did hook up with someone.

Today I finally got to see what all the hype was about. I took my son to see the movie “Pearl Harbor”. All I can say is that the movie should have ended differently. Like with the bombing of Hiroshima, or something to that effect. Overall, it was a pretty good movie. Chris enjoyed it. I remember when they were here last year filming it. I would be at my gym that overlooks the harbor, and you could see the planes and some smoke and stuff. I’d like to know what part of the movie they considered offending. It’s been reported that the version of the movie they were sending to Japan and Germany was edited for fear of offending the two countries. Pfff, they got to be kidding. It’s just a freakin movie.

One last thing before I head out of here. Welcome home Logi. Logi went to Cancun for a couple of days, and now she’s back. She got back just in time to be infuriated by the temporary shut down of this blog site.
A big mahalo to all of you readers who were patient and stuck-out the three days. Hope all of you are having a great Memorial Day Weekend …

Spock you later,
Hapa

Hawaiian Phrases of the Day:

'O wai kou inoa? - what is your name?

'O ___ ko 'u inoa. - my name is ____.

Hola 'enia keia? - what time is it?

Aia i hea ka lua. - where is the bathroom?

Well, she's finally here ... Jodi got in at 1:10pm today. I had the honor of picking her ass up at the airport. As I went to give her a lei and a hug, she grabbed me by my face and planted one on me. You should have seen some of the expressions on people's faces ... hehe. I, on the other hand, was speechless. Jodi has NEVER tried something like that on me before. She used to pester me about it, and I think she got a kick out of my reaction ... that bitch. At this moment she's sitting next to me laughing her ass off. The first thing she wanted to do was eat. At her request, we went for some Hawaiian food. After lunch, we went to her father's home in Aiea. Jodi's mom passed away 16 years ago from breast cancer, and it's been just her and her dad ever since. I left about a half-hour later so she could catch up with her dad. We’re going out as soon as I finish my entry.

This is the third day that Blogger has been down. That sucks … it kinda puts a damper on a bet I have going with a few of my friends. The bet was that by June 15, my counter had to show a count of 300. If I reached the goal, I got some cash coming to me. If I didn’t make it, the 10 people I had the bet with all got a full body massage by me. They’re not sympathetic to my situation, I think it’s only fair that the date gets extended to match the days that were lost. It’s ok tough, payback is a bitch if I lose … I do deep tissue and Swedish … they’re going to HATE the deep tissue.

So, I’m out of here. Hope the Hawaiian phrases come in handy. It’s going to be an interesting night. Something tells me that I should call in sick for tomorrow … I’m suppose to be at work at 8am. Oh well …I’ll catch you all later!

A hui hou kakou,
Hapa

Pidgin Words of the Day:

Howzit - "How are you?" , "How's it going", or "How have you been?"

Da kine - Versatile word used to replace words that can't be remembered or are unknown
while you are speaking

Brah / bruddah - Similar to "Brother" or "pal" in slang. Example: "Eh, brah!"

Lolo - dumb, stupid

What, Like Beef? - Do you want to fight?

I decided to do something a little different tonight. Instead of Hawaiian words, I went with Pidgin.


I should have stayed home…

Well, as you all remember, I went golfing today …if THAT’S what you could call it. It was a beautiful day. Our tee time was at 7:45am. I am NOT a morning person. It takes awhile for me to wake up. Not only did we have an early tee time; they wanted breakfast on top of that! Which meant I had to get up earlier than I wanted to. We all had breakfast at this place called Zippy’s. They make a mean mushroom omelet. I had the munchies for waffles, but their waffles SUCK! Just ask golfer dude … hehe. Anyway, I got there, and the bunch of them all had smirks on their faces. Those fuckers. They know I HATE the early morning. Once I got my hot chocolate with a splash of coffee, I was fine. Then it was off to West Loch.
I got to ride with Andy. I haven’t seen Andy since he came back for his 20th high school reunion three years ago. My friend Ghost also went golfing this week. In his blog he had a glossary of terms you might hear at the golf course. Believe me, you didn’t hear me say any of his words. I had my own realistic bunch of words I used today … heh. I can’t swing a club if my life depended on it. I can putt. Anything beyond 10 feet, however, and I’m fucked. I did have fun, and that’s the main thing. Will my friends ever invite me to go golfing again? Who knows. If they do invite me, it would most definitely a form of entertainment for them.

It was a slow day today, and I don’t have really anything else to share. I have a PTSA newsletter to publish after I sign off, so I guess I will bid you Auf Wiedersehen.

Aloha,
Hapa

Hawaiian Words of the Day:

Kaikunane – brother

Kaikuahine – sister

Kupunakane – grandfather

Kupunawahine – grandmother

Kane – male

Wahine – female


The countdown begins…

As of 1:40pm Hawaii Time today, I got a message on my machine that my husband was served with the divorce papers. Yeehaw! Now, I don’t like to rely on phone messages, so I will call my lawyer to confirm the joyous event. If this true, that my ass of a husband was served, then I should be a single woman in a matter of 4-5 weeks. I also got news the other day that he will be leaving the island to go back home to Missouri by the end of the week. I am crossing my fingers. Wow … two excellent news in the same week …what’s a girl to do?? Party! I will most definitely party starting on the day I hold those divorce papers in my hands.

I called in sick today. Damn sinus infection is kicking my ass. I hardly get sick, but when I do, I get sick … really sick. The weather we’re having doesn’t help either. It’s been hot and muggy. They say it’ll be like this for the next couple of days. Great. Looks like it’s gonna be a long hot summer.

Last year there was a car accident that took the life of a 19-year-old female. It made the news because the guy who killed her was a retired cop. He was drunk at the time. According to witnesses, he ran a red light and smashed into the other car. When cops arrived, he denied taking the Breathalyzer. Investigations found that he was at least in two bars that evening before he got into his car and killed the 19-year-old. It’s now about 7 months later, and he now has the nerve to sue the woman’s family for damages to HIS car. Nevermind that he took their daughter’s life. Nevermind that he has NEVER showed any remorse for what he’s done. Nevermind that to this day he STILL insists the accident wasn’t his fault. He needs to get his fucking head out of his ass and own up to what he has done. He thinks he should get special privileges just because he was a cop. Bullshit! What’s funny is that he left the islands because he couldn’t handle all the talk that was going around. Boo hoo … get over it buddy … at least you still have your sorry of an excuse of a life. And by the way my readers, he now lives in Oregon. He has been brought up on charges of manslaughter. I hope they find his miserable ass GUILTY!

Blogger was down for a couple of days so by the time you read this entry, it’ll probably be like two days later. So stop e-mailing me Don, you’re getting on my last nerve … hehe …just kidding, you know I love your ass.

Ok, so I get online tonight to make an entry on my blog. I get two instant messages from two of my friends, Bitchboy and Pebs. Pebs was like “we were wondering where you were”, or something to that effect. Apparently they found someone who was of “clip and paste” material. I guess I gained the reputation of being a clip and paste artist. People I don’t know would send me a message, and depending on my mood I would start up a conversation with them. If things went well … meaning if the conversation got all fucked up … to my advantage … I would then clip the message and paste it to an e-mail and send it out to everyone we know. I’ve had some fun times doing that. There are some weird people out there.

I’m going to end here … the meds I’m on is starting to kick in and I am off to bed.

Laters,
Hapa

Hawaiian Words of the Day: as requested by my good friend Bitchboy.

Uhane – soul

Maka – eye

Hulali – sparkle

Umauma – breast

If you would like to have a word or phrase translated into Hawaiian, please feel free to contact me, and I’ll see what I can do.


A big “hi” to all my friends from the Truth or Dare room … thanks for visiting my site. I just wanted to say welcome to Chad, David, Alika, Darin, Cuz, Jason, and Brian … 7 of my new readers that I met tonight at work. They came in and sat at the bar and had a few while watching the basketball game on TV. They made the last two hours at work fly by … thanks guys. After work, I joined Alika, Chad and Darin at a place called Chez Moniques. We met up with a few other people. I had one drink and went on my way. If it weren’t for this damned chest congestion, I would have stayed longer. Next time guys.

Speaking of friends … I’ve never really had a lot of them. I have a handful that I consider true friends, the rest are just acquaintances. I’ve never really got along with women. All of the good friends I had growing up were mainly male. A factor that got me into trouble a lot, especially as we entered high school. Why you ask? Well, once they started having girlfriends, they would get jealous of our close relationship and would want to pick a fight with me. My response would always be the “if I wanted your man, I could have had anytime before you came around” speech. I guess I got along better with guys because I grew up with predominant male presence. I have one younger brother, 4 stepbrothers, and the neighborhood I grew up in had mostly guys. I learned a lot hanging out with them. I learned how to bodyboard, fish, skateboard, play football and basketball, and as we got older, I learned what they wanted in a chick … lol.

There are three women that I consider being my ultimate best friends. They are Mary, Malia, and Jodi. I want to focus on Malia and Jodi for a bit. I met Malia in Kindergarten and Jodi in the second grade. I am probably the only person in the whole world, next to her mom and dad that Malia will let call her by her given name. That would be ESTELLE. Not even her husband is allowed to call her by THAT name. No matter how far apart we are, we will, and always will, be there for each other. I was crushed when she and her husband left the islands to move to Colorado back in March of 1999. Her husband got a promotion that required his transfer. She was the last in our circle of friends that left the islands. I’m here all by myself now. Boo hoo. Everyone else is scattered pretty much around the world. As for Jodi, what can I say about Jodi … she’s freaky, ok? Jodi is a flight attendant. I’m lucky to see her once a year. She’ll be in town on the 25th. I can hardly wait. I haven’t seen Jodi in like 3 years. Jodi is Bi. She’s been trying to get me to get together with her ever since our Senior year. Actually, she’s been trying to get me to have a threesome with her and whomever else want to join in. When in town, Jodi likes to hang out at The Dungeon. I wonder if it’s still there. And yeah, THE question was brought up again. Jokingly I told her, just to shut her up once and for all, that I would … I lied … sorry toots. I can’t wait till she gets here. I wish Malia could be here too. The last time the three of us were together was at my first wedding. That was 15 years ago. Malia and Jodi were my clubbing buddies. We were hitting the clubs since we were in the 9th grade. The legal drinking age back then was 18. Flirting with the bouncers can do wonders … so does the right amount of makeup. Jodi will be in town for 4 days. We got plans. I can’t wait.

I heard something on the radio this morning that cracked me up. It was mostly all the post-premiere party gossip. They said Dennis Rodman was in town for the viewing. Funny, he WASN’T invited … so they said. He was DENIED access to the ship. I guess not even certain “stars” have privileges they think they may have. The DJ’s were even making fun of Courtney Love, who WAS invited. How the hell was she tied into the movie? She’s not in the movie and not on the soundtrack. Even Gold medallist Michelle Quan was there. It sounded like all had fun.

It’s time for this chicky to head off to bed. Have a good night, and I’ll catch you tomorrow.

Hapa

Hawaiian Phrases of the Day:

Pehea Oe – “how are you?”

Maikai – “fine”

Mahalo Nui Loa – “thank you very much”

Kipa Mai – “you’re welcome”



Another day, another dollar…

Work was a breeze tonight. I’m back to bartending two nights a week, Mondays and Tuesdays. A pharmaceutical company comes in every so often to display their products to potential doctors. They peddle stuff for allergies like Allegra. All I had to do for them was to take phone orders for take out. The doctors would call in to order their dinner, and all I did was put it together. One hours work. The final bill came to $300; I got tipped 20% of that.

Tonight was the premiere of “Pearl Harbor”. I was driving by Richardson Field earlier today, which is practically throwing distance from the USS John C. Stennis, and there were people already there camped-out with their tripods. From what they said about the speaker system that was going to be used tonight, you could here the movie up to at least ½ a mile away. The movie screen is 6 stories high. I’ve heard that people were going to go down to watch the movie from some of the parks in the area. Two best bets were Richardson Field and the other would have been Aiea Bay Recreation Park. As I write, the movie is STILL rolling. It’s about 3 hours long. They’re going to have a fireworks display following the credits. Looking at my watch, I have about 25 minutes to haul my ass down to watch it with my friends.

Lately I have been having issues with trust, honesty, and friendships. Several weeks ago I went out and met some friends at Rumours. We were all having a good time dancing and being merry. All of a sudden shit went down which really opened my eyes as to whom my real friends were. I have always been up front with people I consider to be my friends. I’m very blunt and a lot of times I get into trouble because of it. Anyway, two women in particular I have been close with since February … or at least I thought we were close. They were making me feel rather uncomfortable pretty much all week leading up to that night. Looking back, the only thing I could think of that may have offend one of them was a comment I made about a guy she was “seeing”. He’s a fucking ass. Just about everything out of her mouth about him was how much of an ass he was. If he’s that much of an ass, I say dump him. I’ll support anyone I care for … just don’t contradict everything you say. If the comment I made pissed her off so much, she should have told me so. If things were reversed, she would have gotten an earful from me. As I think about it, I have made MANY comments about this jerk and I never got the treatment I did that week. Something doesn’t add up, and I could care less. I think I have the right to know why they are pissed at me. A far as I know, I did nothing to them. These women are 36 and 40-something. They act like they’re in high school. Just leave me the hell alone … one less headache I say.

I get my new furniture tomorrow … I can’t wait. One of the new items will be a computer desk. I’m REALLY tired of sitting on the floor to type. I’m also getting a new couch, a washer, and a surround sound stereo system for the TV. Once I get all that in, I’m going to start to have friends over.

Hey, whatever happened to South Park? Are they still showing it??

All I can say is that this chick had a LONG day. I just got the call that I’m being picked-up in 10 minutes.
You guys have a great day tomorrow.

Love ya,
Hapa

Hawaiian Words of the Day:

Makuahine – mother

Makuahunowai wahine – mother-in-law

Makua kane – father

Makuahunoai kane – father-in-law

keiki - child

‘Ohana - family



Aloha ahiahi,

Not too much to say today … I’m just recuperating from last night and work. Pasco was dying to hear the details from my blind date. It went pretty well. A big mahalo to my friend Dana for the set up. I met up with Thomas at a place called Monterey Bay Canners, about 10 minutes from where I live. We had a drink there, then we went dancing. We went to a place called Rumours. Saturdays is retro night where they play music from the 70’s and 80’s. I like to watch people dance. Especially men. Some say that you can tell how a person is in bed by the way they dance. Thomas is a VERY good dancer. I can just imagine. One of the things Pasco asked me at work was how the sex was … as if. It was a blind date … time to get to know each other. Thomas is 38 years old, never been married, has a daughter that is 18, and owns his own business. Actually, he took over his father’s business after he retired. He leases those big ass equipment you see at construction sites. You know those cranes and stuff like that. We didn’t stay that long … maybe about two hours. I had to be at work at 7am. I got home early … oh, about 2am.

Work sucked today. It was extremely slow for a Sunday. I usually get out by 3:30pm at the latest. I clocked out at about 12:30. I ended up going to a place called Assaggio’s with Pasco, Queen, and another co-worker named Jen. Jen is 4 months pregnant. She’s the second person at work that caught the pregnancy bug. Well, actually the third … if you count one of our kitchen manager’s girlfriend. Pasco announced that she was late … two weeks I think it was. She’s got three kiddies. The oldest is 14, and I forgot how old the other two were. I jokingly said that I really needed to get my tubes tied before I caught the bug … I think you need to have sex to get pregnant … something I don’t have to worry about. Anyway, we were all starving and we ended up ordering a couple of things and sharing it all. Assaggio’s is an Italian restaurant. The food there, in my opinion, used to be really awesome. I wasn’t all that impressed today. After that, I went home. My kids got home from their weekend away the same time I did. Sianna went to my brother’s and Chris and I went shopping.

Hope all of you readers have a great week. I got a full agenda tomorrow, so I’m off to bed.

Goodnight,
Hapa

Hawaiian Word of the Day:

Aloha Kakahiaka – Good Morning

Aloha Ahiahi – Good Evening

E Komo Mai – Welcome

pronunciation



Aloha Kakou!

It’s Hollywood frenzy as we speak, here in Hawaii, as we get ready for the premiere of the new movie
“Pearl Harbor”. A private showing for 2000 specially invited guests will take place aboard the USS John C. Stennis this Monday. It’s gonna be a bitch to be in the area. I’ll be at the gym that overlooks the harbor … maybe I’ll be lucky and get to see some action.

Today was the first day back to work since I took off my stitches yesterday. My big toe itched all freakin day. I was miserable. Not only did my toe itch, I was congested, and I was having sinus headaches. I like working the weekends. Everyone on the schedule is usually there. Two of some of my favorite people are there. Pasco and Queen. Pasco hasn’t been fun lately. Up until a few weeks ago, Pasco was practicing celibacy … two years worth. She has a new boyfriend and I couldn’t be happier for her. She hasn’t been fun because she’s in love and she walks around all day like she’s high on something … yeah, high on dick … hehe. You can pick on her and tease her, and she could care less. She used to be feisty. It’s been a few weeks, and she’s slowly coming back to her senses. We have a lot in common. She’s half-Korean, as I am. Her other half consists of Chinese, Mexican, some sort of Caucasian (I don’t see it … I think she’s Caucasian by injection), alien, and some other stuff. Sometimes she thinks her jokes are funny. We laugh because we think her thinking her jokes are funny is what’s actually funny … hehe. Sorry Pasco, I couldn’t resist. Queen on the other hand, cracks me the hell up. I have yet to see anyone top her comebacks. That’s why she’s the Queen. Some have tried, only one has come close. He’s no longer working with us, and it was pure entertainment to watch them go at it every week. Queen has also been a bad influence to some. Those who were quiet, like Rich for instance, are now potty mouths like her. It used to be funny, but he’s gotten out of hand. Of course we blame her. I work with a bunch of characters … it makes the day go by faster.

Blind dates. I hate them. I’m going on one as soon as I finish this blog. The last one I was on was actually a blind/double date. A good friend of mine wanted to set me up right away when I told her I left my husband. For two months she nagged me until I finally said yes. The only condition was that she and her boyfriend had to join us as well. We all went out to dinner. The first 45 minutes or so was nice. We had a few drinks, some appetizers, and nice conversation. All of a sudden, out of nowhere, they start fighting. I was pissed. I got up and announced that I was leaving. My date followed me out the door. He walked me to my car, we talked for a bit, and we swapped phone numbers. We still keep in touch, but I’m not interested. I like this other guy. I’ve been told that he likes me a lot. I met him (I’ll refer to him as golfer dude) during a time I had broken up with my husband for 4 months … we weren’t married yet. We have mutual friends, and they introduced us. I felt an attraction for him then, but silly me got back with the ass about a month later. After I got married, I kinda lost touch with the group. It wasn’t until after I left the ass in January that I started to hang out with the same people again. About three days later I saw golfer dude. We all pretty much started hanging-out at this local bar just about every day of the week. Over the weeks we got to be pretty close. I started to hear things from other people that he liked me as well. The only problem to him was that I am still legally married. All of a sudden, when I would get to the bar, people would come up to me and ask where golfer dude was that night … like I knew half of the time. Other people would introduce me to new people as golfer dude’s girlfriend … that was a shock to me, why is it I’m always the last to know? And why is it I hear it from other people how much he likes me? I finally wrote him a letter saying how much I liked him, and that if he liked me I wanted to hear it from him … not from a bunch of other people. It’s been about a month since I sent the mail and I have yet to get a response from him. Men.

I will be attempting to play golf this week with some of my friends that are in town for the next two weeks. I don’t know how to play. They said it would be ok, they are gonna teach me (and knowing them, laugh in the process) … good luck. We’ll see though. It will all depend on the weather and how my sinus infection progresses.

Lastly, my son is getting an award. I am so proud of him! He’s being recognized by the PTSA Board. In order to get an award; you had to be nominated by either a Math or English Teacher. The nominees then go to the Executive Board of the PTSA who make the final decision. The awards presentation will be on June 5th at 7pm.

Well, I’m off to get ready for my blind date … uhhhggg … wish me luck.

Laters,
Hapa

Hawaiian Words of the Day:

Aloha. 1. Love, affection, compassion, mercy, sympathy, pity, kindness, sentiment, grace, charity; greeting, salutation, regards; sweetheart, lover, loved one; beloved, loving, kind, compassionate, charitable, lovable; to love, be fond of; to show kindness, mercy, pity, charity, affection; to venerate; to remember with affection; to greet, to hail. Greetings! Hello! Good-bye! Farewell! Alas!

Mahalo. 1. Thanks, gratitude; to thank.

Aloha Kakou!

Welcome back to my blog. I just want to thank all the people that have responded to my first blog for their kind words and support for my situation. Of course, there was a few of you that HAD to make a comment about my writing ... you bitches ... you know who you are.

The day started off rather well because I didn't have to go into work. I was "on call" meaning that I had to call in by 8am to see if anyone called in sick. No one did, so I had the day off. A good thing because I didn't have to cancel any of my plans that I made weeks ago. First, I took the kids to school. I usually hit the gym right after, but because of this sinus infection I have I didn't go today.

Second thing on my agenda was my doctor's appointment. I had stitches removed today. Yes, stitches. As most of you know, I moved into my new place two weeks ago. Well, last week Wednesday I opened my screen door and the bottom of the door scrapped across my right big toe. I'm a HUGE fan of things that are gory. I have never in my life felt grossed-out by blood, guts, or anything of that nature. For some reason last week, I almost passed-out by the sight of my toe. It was a nice inch of a cut. Yeah, there was a lot of blood ... so what. It wasn't until I got to the bathroom to clean the wound that I discovered the depth of my injury. While I was cleaning the cut, I discovered what appeared to be bone. Not a good thing to see. Next thing I knew I heard my friend screaming ... lol ... what a wuss. I don't scream (unless there is good reason too ). Anyway, she took me to the ER to get me all fixed. I ended up with stitches, and today they came off.

Since I was going to the hospital today, I made an appointment to see my OB/GYN. Long story short, I had surgery last September for endometriosis and ended up going on hormone replacement therapy (HRT) that started in January. Today I saw my OB for a post therapy checkup. My OB (who I will refer to as Dr. T) is a hoot. He has been my Doc now for the last 16 years. He likes to tell jokes. He likes to tell CERTAIN jokes at the wrong time ... like when I'm in stirrups. He was kinda upset at me because the therapy I was on was supposed to be for 6 months. I only did it for 3 months. I was on Lupron ... I would go in once a month to get a shot of Lupron Depot to the hip which induces my body to go through a temporary state of menopause. I took it upon myself to stop treatment because the hot flashes and mood swings were a bitch! To counteract the side effects, I was on synthetic hormones ... Agystin and Premarin ... or, medical mumbo jumbo for progesterone and estrogen (rather name brands). Within days of taking these hormones, I would suffer sharp pains in my chest. I called the advice nurse and she told me to stop taking the pills and see what happens. Voila, within a few days, the pains were gone. The following month when I went in for my next shot, within days the chest pains came back. Coincidently I was also back on the hormones. By the third shot I was told that chest pains were a possible side effect to the Lupron and NOT the hormones! Needless to say I was pissed. I suffered through all the menopause crap without the help of the hormones when it was the Lupron all this time. I was originally supposed to do the treatment before they suggested the surgery back in September, but I bitched and moaned a good arguement about how I didn't want synthetics in my body. As a compromise, they suggested that I do it for 3 months, I opted for the surgery ... the rest is history. Bottom line, I did the three months and I'm pain free. The pains were so bad it felt like someone was stabbing me in my uterus. The worst pains were during sex. I love sex. Pain is NOT good during sex, well, at least not THAT kind of pain ... hehe. It got to the point where in order to have sex, I had to drug myself up with pain killers an hour before. That is another story in itself. I have to admit, the one thing I will miss about the soon-to-be ex husband is the sex. Actually, there were some great qualities about him ... too bad his addiction to alcohol and drugs fucked things up for us.

Ok, back to the subject at hand. The Lupron sends a signal to the brain to stop menstration. Having your period is what actually "feeds" the abnormal endometrial tissue. It kinda hardens the tissue so when it flares, usually when you ovulate and during your period, it becomes painful. Worst-case scenario ever recorded was where they found endometrial tissue in patient's lungs and intestines. In my case, it was blocking my left fallopian tube and it was all over my uterus. If statistics are correct, I should be virtually pain free for at least the next 3 years. No more pain during sex ... now if only I could find someone to have sex with. I'm in no rush. Overall, my ultra sound looked great. The tissues have all shrunk, if not totally disappeared all together. The big reason for all of this was to try to conceive a child. It took a lot of convincing on my husband's part to get me to have another child. I was told after I had my daughter that I couldn't have anymore children. While I was dating my husband, over the course of 14 months I suffered through 3 miscarriages. I really wanted another one. I thank God I did NOT have children with this man. I've now made the decision not to have anymore. Call it being spoiled, but I LOVE my freedom. It kinda makes me sad because I did all of this to become fertile again only to turn around and consider getting my tubes tied. Well, Dr. T told me to think about it and I told him I would. I see him again in a month. I should have my final decision by then.

I went to see my mom after that. It was her birthday this past Wednesday. My mom passed away on December 7, 1991. Her aneurysm burst. She was only 47. I went to put flowers on her grave, and had a nice long talk with her. I like visiting her because that's the only time I can say what I need to say without her interruption. My mother and I had a rough relationship. I don't know what it was exactly, for some reason she never really trusted me ... go figure. The last 11 months of her life was the closest we've ever been. It's was like she knew inside she was going to leave. My mom was a very stubborn woman, set in her ways. She was a very strong woman. Her big problem with me was that she always had to be right. Even when she was wrong, and she knew she was wrong, she was right. I could never win an arguement with her. Anyway, one night about a month before she passed away, we had a long talk about our relationship. That night was the first night she ever apologized for everything she did to me. That night was the first night she ever told me how proud she was of me. All of my accomplishment throughout my school years went unnoticed. She wasn't all that supportive when I went through my first divorce. My mother told me that night that she wanted to show me how much she was proud of me when I was growing up but for whatever reason could not bring herself to it. I know that sounds messed up, but what can I say? What matters is that I finally heard those words that night that I needed to hear back then. I love my mom, and I miss her dearly.

After I left the cemetary, my last stop was to the home of a good friend that recently passed away. I've known this friend, his name was David, ever since the third grade. He was two years older than me and I knew him because I had his younger brother in my homeroom. Anyway, his mother called me the ohter day to let me know that David left some things for me to have. Stuff like pictures, gifts I gave him, etc. David and I dated for about a year or so back in highschool. We slowly started to lose touch after he enlisted in the Air Force. If anything, we kept in touch via mail. David married a bitch. For some reason she hated me. I don't know why, I'm the loveable type. I was hurt when I did not get invited to the wedding. I haven't heard from David in the last 5 years or so but I still kept in touch with his parents. His parents used to write and tell me that he was unhappy with her. In fact, before he passed away, he was going to file for a divorce. For some fucked up reason she had it in her head that he was leaving her for me. That was news to me. I guess that was why she didn't want me at the funeral. I would have made a big stink about it, but out of respect for David I did not want to cause a scene. His mother had a little get together at her home and she had me over then. Guess who showed up unannounced? You got it ... the bitch. She started to make a scene and David's mom ended up pulling us both into the kitchen. Bottom line, the bitch didn't like what she was hearing and announced she was going back to the mainland in a couple of days and that they wouldn't hear from her again ... blah, blah, blah. Good riddance.

I had a full day, and I m now ready to party this weekend. The kids are leaving any minute and won't be home until Sunday night. I got the whole place to myself. Life is good.

Until next time, be good to each other ...

Aloha,
Hapa