25 Witty Things to Say to Your Doctor During a Pelvic or Prostate Exam
01. "Take it easy, Doc -- you're boldly going where no man has gone before."
02. "Hey, my chi is unblocking!"
03. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"
04. "Can you hear me NOW? ...GOOD!"
05. "Oh, boy! That was sphincteriffic!"
06. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"
07. "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."
08. "Smith, Corporal, U.S. ARMY, 0291563!"
09. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"
10. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey..."
11. "Ever seen 'The Crying Game'?"
12. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"
13. "Doc, wanna see my Ned Beatty impression?"
14. "I love the smell of latex and K-Y in the morning. It smells like... victory!"
15. "Ever gut a squid?"
16. "If the hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"
17. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."
18. "Does this gown make my cervix look fat?"
19. "Go slow, Doc -- I wanna learn how to do this for my friends."
20. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"
21. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"
22. "Say, Doc, how's about this time, I get on top?"
23. "Sometimes, when you touch, the honesty's too much, and I have to close my eyes and pee."
24. "Deflector shields: Down!"
25. "Get a camera! We can tell Ripley's Believe It or Not that we're the most unusual Siamese twins EVER!"
Friday, January 17, 2003
Short post tonight …
I don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself … baby is gone until Monday and the other two will be gone most of the weekend.
The weather has been crappy all week so I’ve put off most of my running. To make up for it I did do some aerobics and I’m still doing the weights. With the baby gone, I’ll probably head out to the gym and workout on the treadmill and stair climber.
Great job on finishing the marathon Ghost!
Jonathan is with his daddy this weekend. We took him to his 4-month physical this morning and he got another 4 shots. Dad went with baby this time to get the shots … you could hear him scream from the reception area … poor thing. It’s now 10pm and no phone call yet … I guess baby is doing well … I’ll call them in a bit … I miss my munky.
I’m done … bad headache … have a great weekend!
I don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself … baby is gone until Monday and the other two will be gone most of the weekend.
The weather has been crappy all week so I’ve put off most of my running. To make up for it I did do some aerobics and I’m still doing the weights. With the baby gone, I’ll probably head out to the gym and workout on the treadmill and stair climber.
Great job on finishing the marathon Ghost!
Jonathan is with his daddy this weekend. We took him to his 4-month physical this morning and he got another 4 shots. Dad went with baby this time to get the shots … you could hear him scream from the reception area … poor thing. It’s now 10pm and no phone call yet … I guess baby is doing well … I’ll call them in a bit … I miss my munky.
I’m done … bad headache … have a great weekend!
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