Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell.
Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"
The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies," It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.
Wednesday, May 07, 2003
Apparently a radio station that I listen to in the mornings are having a ‘Fear Factor’ qualification thing going on this week. The winner will go on to the real thing on the mainland representing Hawaii. Anyway, today the semi-finalists were in and they had to answer trivia questions. If you answered wrong, you had to pull a paper from a bag that told you what part of your body you had to shave the hair off of. People were shaving Mohawks, eyebrows, half of eyebrows, pubic hair, underarms, legs … and the majority of the contestants today were men. I think only two were women which one of them dropped out as soon as she found out you had to shave a body part. Anyway, that wasn’t all. The contestants were finally whittled down to about 3 or 4 people. At that point they found out the real deal. They had 90 seconds to eat peanut butter mixed in with the hair they shaved off. If I heard correctly, it was about a cup of peanut butter and a handful of hair. I heard someone say the guys had big hands … LOL! It was the lone girl who was the one who shaved her pubes. I didn’t listen to yesterday’s competition but the day before that they had to eat what they called ‘shoyu cereal’. What it was they had to eat was a cup of Grape Nuts mixed with clams, clam juice and shoyu (soy sauce for you mainlanders). I’m dying to hear what they do tomorrow.
The leg is slowly getting better but if I step wrong I fell like putting my hand through a wall. It’s not easy chasing an 8-month old around … he’s a fast crawler and he gets around pretty well holding onto the furniture on his legs.
Well, I’m off … got some shopping to do. I seriously need a new wardrobe. Everything I do are for the kids. I can’t remember the last time I actually bought something really nice for myself. I’ll buy like a blouse here or there, I just haven’t bought anything really nice like for going out perhaps on dates and stuff like that in over several years. With the reunion coming up in a little over two months and after losing all the baby stuff I deserve to pamper myself. So, out goes all the maternity stuff, all the oversized stuff, and all the hoochie stuff I used to wear before I got pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I still like some of the hoochie stuff, it’s just with the baby now I think I should dress a little more conservative … just a little.
Well, I’m off to the mall … enjoy the rest of the week!
The leg is slowly getting better but if I step wrong I fell like putting my hand through a wall. It’s not easy chasing an 8-month old around … he’s a fast crawler and he gets around pretty well holding onto the furniture on his legs.
Well, I’m off … got some shopping to do. I seriously need a new wardrobe. Everything I do are for the kids. I can’t remember the last time I actually bought something really nice for myself. I’ll buy like a blouse here or there, I just haven’t bought anything really nice like for going out perhaps on dates and stuff like that in over several years. With the reunion coming up in a little over two months and after losing all the baby stuff I deserve to pamper myself. So, out goes all the maternity stuff, all the oversized stuff, and all the hoochie stuff I used to wear before I got pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I still like some of the hoochie stuff, it’s just with the baby now I think I should dress a little more conservative … just a little.
Well, I’m off to the mall … enjoy the rest of the week!
Monday, May 05, 2003
HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS?
In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only
Ladies Forbidden....and thus the word GOLF entered into the English
language.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Coca-Cola was originally green.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
( now get this...) The percentage of North America that is
wilderness: 38%
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The youngest pope was 11 years old.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air
the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,
John Hancock and Charles Thomson.
Most of the rest signed on August 2,
but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. (No!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them
looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Most boat owners name their boats.
What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go
until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most
ironic?
A. He was allergic to carrots.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar
was
lunar based, this period was called the honey month we know today as the
honeymoon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts..
So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would
yell at them mind their own pints and quarts, and settle down.
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim,
or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by
this practice.
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only
Ladies Forbidden....and thus the word GOLF entered into the English
language.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Coca-Cola was originally green.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is impossible to lick your elbow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
( now get this...) The percentage of North America that is
wilderness: 38%
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The youngest pope was 11 years old.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.
If the horse has one front leg in the air
the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.
If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,
John Hancock and Charles Thomson.
Most of the rest signed on August 2,
but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. (No!)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them
looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?
A. Conception.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. Most boat owners name their boats.
What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go
until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most
ironic?
A. He was allergic to carrots.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?
A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar
was
lunar based, this period was called the honey month we know today as the
honeymoon.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts..
So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would
yell at them mind their own pints and quarts, and settle down.
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim,
or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by
this practice.
~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.
Sunday, May 04, 2003
For any of you who hasn’t had a torn muscle in your life … I don’t wish it on anyone … that shit hurts like a bitch! I don’t know what the heck happened last night … I usually stretch before any workout at least 15 minutes and last night I stretched for a little over half an hour while I was watching Will and Grace. Besides, you can add another warm up stretch at the beginning of my step video. Seven minutes into the actual routine I heard a loud POP. At first I thought it was my knee ‘cracking’. At the same time I heard the POP, I felt an intense, sharp pain going down my calf and it was not pretty. It’s 19 hours later and I still can’t put any weight on my right leg, even with the pain killers. This is highly upsetting for me because I have been on this plateau in my workout for several months now and was only now beginning to start shaping up again. Oh well, whatcha gonna do, eh?
So, I had yet another surgery two weeks ago for the endometriosis and thanks to the pilates I’ve been doing now since the beginning of the year, my recovery has been faster this time around. So, that’s where I’ve been. I go back on Friday for a checkup.
My PC died, almost. Actually I brought it back to the guy who built it to have it upgraded and he called me back to say the motherboard was dying and I was better off buying a new one, which I did Friday. I love it, so much speed. Kazaa, here I come!
Where the hell is everyone? Hope all is well with you guys. Angel, I’m here for ya if you need to talk. How are things going with court? Good luck to you guys.
I’m out … gonna go see X Men 2 … limping and all.
Have a great week!
So, I had yet another surgery two weeks ago for the endometriosis and thanks to the pilates I’ve been doing now since the beginning of the year, my recovery has been faster this time around. So, that’s where I’ve been. I go back on Friday for a checkup.
My PC died, almost. Actually I brought it back to the guy who built it to have it upgraded and he called me back to say the motherboard was dying and I was better off buying a new one, which I did Friday. I love it, so much speed. Kazaa, here I come!
Where the hell is everyone? Hope all is well with you guys. Angel, I’m here for ya if you need to talk. How are things going with court? Good luck to you guys.
I’m out … gonna go see X Men 2 … limping and all.
Have a great week!
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