A fire fighter is polishing a fire engine outside the station when he notices a little girl next door in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the side and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The little girl is wearing a fire fighter's helmet and has the wagon tied to a dog and cat. The fire fighter walks over to take a closer look,

"That sure is a nice fire truck," the fire fighter says with admiration.

"Thanks," the girl says.

The fire fighter looks a little closer and notices the girl has tied one wagon leash to the dog's collar and one to the cat's testicles.

"Little Partner," the fire fighter says, "I don't want to tell you how to run your fire truck, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could probably go a lot faster."

The little girl pauses for a moment to think, looks at the wagon, at the dog and at the cat, then shyly looks up into the fireman's eyes and says......

"You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a f*cking siren now would I ?"

This is the fairy tale that little girls should have been reading a long time ago !

Once upon a time,
in a land far away,
a beautiful, independent,
self-assured princess
happened upon a frog as she sat,
contemplating ecological issues
on the shores of an unpolluted pond
in a verdant meadow near her castle.
The frog hopped into the princess' lap
and said: Elegant Lady,
I was once a handsome prince,
until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however,
and I will turn back
into the dapper, young prince that I am
and then, my sweet, we can marry
and setup housekeeping in your castle
with my mother,
where you can prepare my meals,
clean my clothes, bear my children,
and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.
That night, as the princess dined sumptuously
on a repast of lightly sautéed frog legs
seasoned in a white wine
and onion cream sauce,
she chuckled and thought to herself:

I don't phucking think so.

Going back to what I was talking about … cause I kinda lost my train of thought and got side-tracked …
I tend to be very anal when it comes to pronouncing Japanese words. Just ask Ghost. I went to visit in January of ‘98, the year the Winter Olympics was at Nagano, Japan. My beef was the way NAGANO was pronounced. It was driving me nuts to watch newscasters, who by the way should have been doing their job and researching the correct way to pronounce NAGANO, pronounce said city as NAGA NO. It is pronounced NA GA NO. The same way people were irritating me by the way they were saying karaoke. It is not pronounced carrie oh key. It is pronounced kah (as in car) rah oh ke (as in kay). Do we have it now?

With that off my chest, I bid you a good night.

Yeah, I’m still here … just been busy.

Ok, for the past year I’ve been brushing up on my Japanese for the Japan trip that was supposed to happen this October with Chris and the marching band. Because of the whole SARS thing going on they’ve decided to do something else. So, the Band Director informed us at the latest band booster meeting that they are putting in their application, along with an impressive resume, to perform at a halftime show for either the Denver Broncos or the Tampa Bay Buccaneers in October. They’re looking to perform a Monday night game that falls on the kid’s two week break in that month.

I really feel for you, WryGuy. I have been fortunate to have all three of my children sleep through the night beginning at the age of two months. Jonathan is the only one who has problems sleeping when he is sick. He takes after his father who had bronchial asthma when he was a baby so when Jonathan gets sick, usually on the second and third night are the worst.

An early congrats to Chynakat and her family on the upcoming arrival of her new daughter. I went to checkout that virtual nursery website and I thought that was pretty neat. I’ll be looking for Cassidy when the day comes.

Hope all is well with you Angel. I have some film that needs developing and I’ll have some pics to share when I get them. Kisses to the girls for me!

Some good news for now. The biopsy I had a few weeks back were cancer free … thank God. That’s all I need was more stress. Geez … getting older really sucks sometimes.

Anywho … Jonathan is glaring at me and I need to entertain him so I’ll be back soon …

Laters …

I love you all!

A funny card for you

Two tall trees, a birch and a beech, are growing in the woods. A small tree begins to grow between them, and the beech says to the birch, "Is that a son of a beech or a son of a birch?" The birch says he cannot tell.

Just then a woodpecker lands on the sapling. The birch says, "Woodpecker, you are a tree expert. Can you tell if that is a son of a beech or a son of a birch?"

The woodpecker takes a taste of the small tree. He replies," It is neither a son of a beech nor a son of a birch. It is, however, the best piece of ash I have ever put my pecker in.

Apparently a radio station that I listen to in the mornings are having a ‘Fear Factor’ qualification thing going on this week. The winner will go on to the real thing on the mainland representing Hawaii. Anyway, today the semi-finalists were in and they had to answer trivia questions. If you answered wrong, you had to pull a paper from a bag that told you what part of your body you had to shave the hair off of. People were shaving Mohawks, eyebrows, half of eyebrows, pubic hair, underarms, legs … and the majority of the contestants today were men. I think only two were women which one of them dropped out as soon as she found out you had to shave a body part. Anyway, that wasn’t all. The contestants were finally whittled down to about 3 or 4 people. At that point they found out the real deal. They had 90 seconds to eat peanut butter mixed in with the hair they shaved off. If I heard correctly, it was about a cup of peanut butter and a handful of hair. I heard someone say the guys had big hands … LOL! It was the lone girl who was the one who shaved her pubes. I didn’t listen to yesterday’s competition but the day before that they had to eat what they called ‘shoyu cereal’. What it was they had to eat was a cup of Grape Nuts mixed with clams, clam juice and shoyu (soy sauce for you mainlanders). I’m dying to hear what they do tomorrow.

The leg is slowly getting better but if I step wrong I fell like putting my hand through a wall. It’s not easy chasing an 8-month old around … he’s a fast crawler and he gets around pretty well holding onto the furniture on his legs.

Well, I’m off … got some shopping to do. I seriously need a new wardrobe. Everything I do are for the kids. I can’t remember the last time I actually bought something really nice for myself. I’ll buy like a blouse here or there, I just haven’t bought anything really nice like for going out perhaps on dates and stuff like that in over several years. With the reunion coming up in a little over two months and after losing all the baby stuff I deserve to pamper myself. So, out goes all the maternity stuff, all the oversized stuff, and all the hoochie stuff I used to wear before I got pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, I still like some of the hoochie stuff, it’s just with the baby now I think I should dress a little more conservative … just a little.

Well, I’m off to the mall … enjoy the rest of the week!

HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITHOUT KNOWING THESE THINGS?


In Scotland, a new game was invented. It was entitled Gentlemen Only
Ladies Forbidden....and thus the word GOLF entered into the English
language.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were
Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Coca-Cola was originally green.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28%
( now get this...) The percentage of North America that is
wilderness: 38%

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $6,400

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The average number of people airborne over the US any given hour: 61,000

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The youngest pope was 11 years old.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Those San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs -Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse
has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air
the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural
causes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th,
John Hancock and Charles Thomson.
Most of the rest signed on August 2,
but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language. (No!)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hershey's Kisses are called that because the machine that makes them
looks like it's kissing the conveyor belt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What occurs more often in December than any other month?

A. Conception.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?

A. Their birthplace

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. Most boat owners name their boats.
What is the most popular boat name requested?

A. Obsession

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go
until you would find the letter "A"?

A. One thousand

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and
laser printers all have in common?

A. All invented by women.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. There are more collect calls on this day than any other day of the year?

A. Father's Day

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What trivia fact about Mel Blanc (voice of Bugs Bunny) is the most
ironic?

A. He was allergic to carrots.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Q. What is an activity performed by 40% of all people at a party?

A. Snoop in your medicine cabinet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened,
making the bed firmer to sleep on.
Hence the phrase "goodnight, sleep tight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month
after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all
the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar
was
lunar based, this period was called the honey month we know today as the
honeymoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts..
So in old England, when customers got unruly, the bartender would
yell at them mind their own pints and quarts, and settle down.
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Many years ago in England, pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the
rim,
or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the
whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by
this practice.

~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow.

For any of you who hasn’t had a torn muscle in your life … I don’t wish it on anyone … that shit hurts like a bitch! I don’t know what the heck happened last night … I usually stretch before any workout at least 15 minutes and last night I stretched for a little over half an hour while I was watching Will and Grace. Besides, you can add another warm up stretch at the beginning of my step video. Seven minutes into the actual routine I heard a loud POP. At first I thought it was my knee ‘cracking’. At the same time I heard the POP, I felt an intense, sharp pain going down my calf and it was not pretty. It’s 19 hours later and I still can’t put any weight on my right leg, even with the pain killers. This is highly upsetting for me because I have been on this plateau in my workout for several months now and was only now beginning to start shaping up again. Oh well, whatcha gonna do, eh?

So, I had yet another surgery two weeks ago for the endometriosis and thanks to the pilates I’ve been doing now since the beginning of the year, my recovery has been faster this time around. So, that’s where I’ve been. I go back on Friday for a checkup.

My PC died, almost. Actually I brought it back to the guy who built it to have it upgraded and he called me back to say the motherboard was dying and I was better off buying a new one, which I did Friday. I love it, so much speed. Kazaa, here I come!

Where the hell is everyone? Hope all is well with you guys. Angel, I’m here for ya if you need to talk. How are things going with court? Good luck to you guys.

I’m out … gonna go see X Men 2 … limping and all.

Have a great week!

It is too hysterical watching Sianna teach Jonathan to drink from a cup.

See you all in a few days, I'll fill you in when I get back.

Until then ...

Growing up with my brother we had the typical sibling rivalry; we competed in about almost everything. Without getting into a long detailed story, when I was in the 9th grade and Eric was in the 6th grade, we moved out of our high school’s district and was therefore supposed to get a district exception to continue attending the schools we were already attending. A good friend of the family let us use his address so we didn’t have to go that route. Anyway, by my Senior year, Eric became a Freshman and attended the high school I was at. By this time Eric was a stellar soccer player and any sport he played he excelled in it. As good as he was in sports, he also maintained his grades and was an honor roll student. Before I forget, The friend of the family I mentioned earlier also had a son who was a year older than me. The school caught up with our false address scheme and gave me the ultimatum of turning in an application or else I would have to leave the school and attend the school in the district I lived in. I guess because I was going to be a Senior, they allowed my application. Eric, however, did not fill an application. One day towards the end of the school year a dumbass pulled a knife on him and they got into it. Of course Eric kicked this guy’s ass and they both were caught and sent to the Principal’s office. Seeing that Eric did not have an exception, he was kicked out this school to attend the other school. No investigation and it didn’t matter that he attributed to the school’s athletic department. This became a turning point in his life we now look back and call HELL.

Everything he accomplished up until then went down the drain. He started hanging around punks and got heavily into the drug scene. He ended up dropping out of school. Over the course of the next 12 years (‘82-’94) he was in and out of jail for mostly shoplifting to support his habit, parking violations up the ying yang, and making my life miserable. There was a period before he rented a house with some of his addict friends that he lived with me. He stole from me almost trashed my car on a couple of occasions, and a few other things. He’s my only brother and I put up with a lot of his shit before he took it too far. Then out of no where he started going back to church and completely made a big turn around. That was going really well up until our mother passed away and the insurance money kicked in. Well, you know how THAT went. Within a year his money was gone. He was then given the ultimatum to either go to prison for 5 years or turn himself in to rehab. He took the later and spent two years total. The first month he couldn’t have any contact with the outside. Eventually he could go out but that was only to work … they got him a job while he was in there. Later he got weekend passes. I think that by the end of his first year he was able to leave completely with two or three sessions a week. I’m happy to say that he’s been clean now for 9 years.

Over the last few years he’s gone back to school, has a really great job, and is now in the process of building his dream home with his wife which should be done building in July. He has three children- two girls 8 and 5 and a son who will be 3 in August.

Habanero chips are overrated. Jalapeno chips are way better.

On that note, have a great weekend and have a fantastic Easter!

HAPPY 35th BIRTHDAY ERIC!

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts."
She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said,
"Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start."
This time she looked a little angry, but brought him a beer.
When it was gone, he said, "Quick, one more beer before it starts!
"That's it!" She blows her top! "Don't you waltz in here, flop your big butt down, don't even say
hello to me and then expect me to run around like your slave.
Don't you realize that I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long? Don't you realize ....."
The husband sighed ...
"DAMN It's started!"

Human pin cushion here … oh yeah, did I mention I’m back on Air Force payroll? Technically no … I work there as a civilian. More on that later. Anyway, I got my shots updated today and my arms hurt. Especially where they gave me my tetanus shot. It was fine going in, but I felt the burn a few seconds later. The last time I had a tetanus shot was January ’86 at basic training. Uh, huh … I know … every ten years … I’ve been lucky. I go in tomorrow to get some blood work done as well. It could have been done today but I had toast for breakfast and some of the tests needed a 12-hour fast.

Chris called from Canada … he’s having fun.

Baby just left awhile ago with dad for the weekend.

On that note, I’m going to go and shower (I had a really great workout earlier) and take a nap before I get ready for work.

Have a great weekend!

Welcome back WryGuy!

Chris leaves for Vancouver today in about 5 hours. He's not even done packing.

Sianna just left for her Math Team practice.

Jonathan is a few feet from me staring. He got pissed at Sianna earlier and tried to smack her. I thought that was so funny. He's just like mommy with that temper of his. He turns 7 months next week and we're already starting to plan his 1st birthday party. Traditionally it's supposed to be a big-ass baby luau here where I live. Been there, done that. At Christopher's party we had close to 400 in attendance. Sianna's party originally had a guest list of 500 but because my mother passed away two months earlier, we cancelled the party then later decided to go ahead with it. Her party ended up having about 175 people ... we weren't able to get in touch with the rest or they were unable to attend the new date. This time around, we're just gonna make it simple. we're looking to probably invite 50-75 people. So far we're looking to have it at the Marina where John has his boat docked. They have a big area for barbequing and then of course the three different coves where the beaches are. He's going to hook up the inner tube for anyone who wants to take the boat out and maybe some fishing. It's still several months away and I got some time to decide what we'll do.

Well ... it's that time to run. Gotta get Chris to the airport and do some errands. So, until next time have a nice day!

Gawd ... I need a new look, my blog that is. Any and all help/suggestions will be greatly appreciated!

Is this freaky or what?

Earlier today I went to work and as I was trying to unlock my car door with my remote, I had dropped my 1 ½ liter water bottle and it started to roll under my car. So, I opened the door to put my things in and I started to look under the car … nothing. I figured it must have rolled to the other side. I walked around to look and nothing was there either. I then proceeded to get on my knees to look and still nothing! At this point I started to get a little freaked-out by all of this. I then looked within 5 feet all around the car and there was still no water bottle. Where the heck did it go? I called Sianna to get me another bottle and she looked around only to run back into the house cause she got creepy about it. Only God knows.

Hope all of you had a pretty good weekend.

Angel – you and your family are in my prayers …

Have a great week!

I'm just laughing my ass off here ...


You are not European.


What's your Inner European?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yummmm ... Percocet is good!

Munky is doing better … his wheezing went away; negative on the RV virus, his eye exam went splendid; no defect whatsoever, and his ear infection has all cleared up. He turns 6 months on the 4th and he has his 6-month physical on the 5th. Chris has his Uta Matsuri performances this weekend so he’ll hardly be home. I have to remember to call the banks next week for International Exchange Rates so I can get his spending cash/Traveler’s Checks in order. Sianna had her 12-year physical and she’s growing normally. Hawaii law now states that in order to enter the 7th grade, you have to show in black and white a history of having the chicken pox or have had at least two varicella shots along with all other shots updated. Well, she had it mildly back in 1993 a week after Chris got it from school. Because Chris was brought in and documented, when I called the week later, I was told I didn’t have to bring her in because they assumed that it was chicken pox. So no documentation for her. Who would have known that she would be in the first class to enter the 7th grade that had to have a history documented somewhere. Anyway, she ended up taking a blood test to check for immunity, and sure enough she does. No shots for her. She did however had to take a flu shot, which she was not too happy about. As for myself, I go in for an ultrasound on the 11th because I’m having problems again. Last time I had my little talk with my doctor, he was talking possible hysterectomy. We’ll see. As much as I don’t want one, if it means no pain and no anemia (I’m tired ALL the time) then a hysterectomy it is. I’ll keep you all posted.

Have a great weekend!

I have a few words to say …

THE CLASS OF 2005 WAS ROBBED AGAIN!

Tonight Sianna and I went to PCHS’s 26th Annual Songfest. I was happily surprised by tonight’s performances by all of the classes with the exception of the Freshman class. I’m sorry, but you guys sucked. The Sophomores went first. Their theme was ‘Happy Times’ and their attire resembled that of the Broadway show Rent. The first song they sang was ‘Dancing in the Street’ followed by ‘Seasons of Love’ and ended with ‘Lean on Me’. I don’t care what you say, they should have won hands down. Once again the Vice-Principal announced to everyone only the first place winner of the event. That’s the chicken way out if you ask me. When I was attending the school, they announced the winners starting with last place along with their score and ended with the first place winners. That way you knew by how much each class won by. Last year, Chris was a Freshman and we found out later that they lost to the Junior’s by ONE POINT! It was easy to see the competition was between the Seniors and the Sophomores. I think what sealed the Sophomore’s fate was the point they pulled first to perform. Oh well … I’m looking forward to next year’s show.

Something is in the air ... more on that at a later time ... hehe ...

My meds are kicking in so I’m off to bed … hope all of you are enjoying the weekend thus far …

Ugh … I forgot to give props to some people I met during the run … here goes …

Big smooches to Dave, Ron, Emma, Peej, Hammah (there’s a story behind that name … LMAO!), Matt, Ben, Alika, Curtis, AJ, Doofus, Gerald, Cray, Dev, and Kalani. Man, I hope I got everyone, and welcome to my blog!

Next venture is the Straub Women’s 10K run. I think it’s on the 3rd of March; Girl’s Day … I gotta double check on that.

I’m going back to bed … everybody is sick … again … have a great weekend if I don’t blog ya tomorrow.

Still recuperating from Monday. The Great Aloha Run came and went and I’m kinda bummed from my finish. My chip time was 2:16:27.6 and I ranked 8112 out of about almost 15000 that registered. Now, without making excuses (hehe), it would have been a better finish if two things hadn’t happened. First, into the first mile, I had the strong urge to pee. Yes, I did go before the race started … like and hour before … but up until the first mile I didn’t have the urge. The freaking line to the bathroom was 8 minutes before it was my turn. Everything went pretty smooth … I was doing good time until I started the fifth mile. It was like my toes were on fire. The shoes I was wearing were only a month and a half into breaking in and I knew I was in trouble. I stepped aside to have someone look at my feet. Sure enough, I had blisters. One of them was so bad it was starting to bleed. I had four of my toes wrapped and I went back into the race. Total time for that delay was another 15 minutes. So, I’m figuring if I found my old running shoes and ran with those, and made myself pee just before the race started, I probably would have finished around the time Chris did. His chip time was 1:34:48.2. Hey, the best part is that it was bonding time with Chris and his friends and I got my shirt! Here’s the link for anyone who wants to see the finishing times or look for people you know.

Well, it seems that Chris … who is a Sophomore … got invited to the Senior Prom the other day. He’s going and I don’t even need to rent a tuxedo for him. He already owns a really nice black one I had to buy him for concert band. All I need to rent for him are the shiny black shoes, cummerbund (he lost his), and the vest.

Last week the band booster had their meeting for everyone who is going on the Vancouver trip next month. I was kind of disappointed at the leadership of the band booster. The biggest question of the night was what would happen if we went to war while they were in Canada. All they could say was “we’ll get back to you on that”. We’ve known for how long about what was going on and what could possibly happen? I can’t believe that they don’t have some kind of plan in case something happens.

Well, this chicky is heading off to bed to continue her recuperation.

Until later …

Welcome back Angel!

Looking back, it's hard to believe that we have lived as long as we
have......

My Mom used to cut chicken, chop eggs and spread mayo on the same
cutting board with the same knife and no bleach, but we didn't seem to
get food poisoning.

My Mom used to defrost hamburger on the counter AND I used to eat it
raw sometimes too, but I can't remember getting E-coli.

As children we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags.
Riding in the back of a pickup truck on a warm day was always a special
treat.

Our baby cribs, toys and rooms were painted with bright colored lead
based paint. We, often chewed on the crib, ingesting the paint.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors, or cabinets, and
when we rode our bikes we had no helmets.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were
back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day.

We played dodgeball and sometimes the ball would really hurt.

We played with toy guns, cowboys and Indians, army, cops and robbers,
and used our fingers to simulate guns when the toy ones or my BB gun
was not available.

We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank sugar soda, but we were
never overweight; we were always outside playing.

Little League had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who
didn't, had to learn to deal with disappointment.

Some students weren't as smart as others or didn't work hard so they
failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same grade. That
generation produced some of the greatest risk-takers and problem
solvers. We had the freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and
we learned how to deal with it all.

Almost all of us would have rather gone swimming in the lake instead of a
pristine pool (talk about boring), the term cell phone would have
conjured up a phone in a jail cell, and a pager was the school PA system.

We all took gym, not PE... and risked permanent injury with a pair of high
top Ked's (only worn in gym) instead of having cross-training athletic shoes
with air cushion soles and built in light reflectors. I can't recall any
injuries but they must have happened because they tell us how much safer
weare now. Flunking gym was not an option... even for stupid kids! I guess PE
must be much harder than gym.

Every year, someone taught the whole school a lesson by running in the
halls with leather soles on linoleum tile and hitting the wet spot. How
much better off would we be today if we only knew we could have sued
the school system.

Speaking of school, we all said prayers and the pledge and stayed in
detention after school and caught all sorts of negative attention for the
next two weeks. We must have had horribly damaged psyches.

I can't understand it. Schools didn't offer 14 year olds an abortion or
condoms (we wouldn't have known what either was anyway) but they did
give us a couple of baby aspirin and cough syrup if we started getting
the sniffles.

What an archaic health system we had then. Remember school nurses? Ours
wore a hat and everything.

I thought that I was supposed to accomplish something before I was
allowed to be proud of myself.

I just can't recall how bored we were without computers, PlayStation,
Nintendo, X-box or 270 digital cable stations.I must be repressing that
memory as I try to rationalize through the denial of the dangers could have
befallen us as we trekked off each day about a mile down the road to some
guy's vacant 20, built forts out of branches and pieces of plywood, made
trails, and fought over who got to be the Lone Ranger. What was that
property owner thinking, letting us play on that lot. He should have
been locked up for not putting up a fence around the property, complete
with a self-closing gate and an infrared intruder alarm.

Oh yeah... and where was the Benadryl and sterilization kit when I got
that bee sting? I could have been killed!

We played king of the hill on piles of gravel left on vacant construction
sites and when we got hurt, Mom pulled out the 48 cent bottle of
mercurochrome and then we got our butt spanked. Now it's a trip to the
emergency room, followed by a 10-day dose of a $49 bottle of
antibiotics and then Mom calls the attorney to sue the contractor for
leaving a horribly vicious pile of gravel where it was such a threat.

We didn't act up at the neighbor's house either because if we did, we
got our butt spanked (physical abuse) ... and then we got our butt
spanked again when we got home.

Mom invited the door to door salesman inside for coffee, kids choked
down the dust from the gravel driveway while playing with Tonka trucks
(remember why Tonka trucks were made tough... it wasn't so that they
could take the rough berber in the family room), and Dad drove a car with leaded gas.

Our music had to be left inside when we went out to play and I am sure
that I nearly exhausted my imagination a couple of times when we went
on two week vacations. I should probably sue the folks now for the
danger they put us in when we all slept in campgrounds in the family tent.

Summers were spent behind the push lawnmower and I didn't even know
that mowers came with motors until I was 13 and we got one without an
automatic blade-stop or an auto-drive. How sick were my parents?

Of course my parents weren't the only psychos. I recall Donny Reynolds
from next door coming over and doing his tricks on the front stoop just
before he fell off. Little did his Mom know that she could have owned
our house.Instead she picked him up and swatted him for being such a
goof. It was a neighborhood run amuck.

To top it off, not a single person I knew had ever been told that they were
from a dysfunctional family. How could we possibly have known that we
needed to get into group therapy and anger management classes? We were
obviously so duped by so many societal ills, that we didn't even notice
that the entire country wasn't taking Prozac!

How did we survive?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHRIS!

YOU BEAT OLD LADIES FOR PILLS!!!


what's YOUR deepest secret?
brought to you by Quizilla

LMAO! those cartoons crack me up!

Happy Chinese New Year!

The Year of the Ram:

Sianna falls under the year of the Ram ... according to this she should be getting along with her brothers ... Chris is the Rabbit, and Jonathan is the Horse (hmmm ... ).

Years:

1919, 1931, 1943, 1955, 1967, 1979, 1991, 2003

Character:

Gentle and docile, the Ram is sincere & kind-hearted. A pacifist, they never question authority. Fueled by compassion, they admire all of nature’s beauty. Rams strive to create a secure & tranquil environment.

Compatible with:

Rabbit, Horse and Boar

Non-Compatible with:

Ox

Western Counterpart:

Cancer

Famous Rams:

Mel Gibson, Bill Gates, Charles Dickens, Pamela Anderson, Robert De Niro, Mick Jagger, George Wallace, Mark Twain, Barbara Walters, Julia Roberts, Boris Yeltsin, Bruce Willis, Michelangelo, Malcolm Forbes, Julio Iglesias, John Wayne, Joni Mitchell, William Shatner, George Burns, John Denver, Mikhail Gorbachev, Benito Mussolini, Billy Idol and Joe Pesci.


The Year in store for the Ram:

This will feel like a year of abundance for you and your natural generosity will come to the fore. Make sure you always weigh your words well however, as your exuberance could lead to misunderstandings.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SIANNA!

I took Jonathan for his first baby portrait today. He’s such a flirt … wonder who he gets it from.
Anyway, some of you may remember about the bar fight I wrote about over a year ago. Guess who was at the studio … you guessed it … the chick who bit me. She kept looking at me like she was trying to figure out where she saw me before. I walked past her and said the name of the bar and she turned a deep shade of red. I chuckled and took baby in for his turn. When we came back out, she looked at me and smiled. Ah, memories. If I remember correctly, I think she got like 6 months probation. Thank goodness for surveillance cameras.

Well, I’m done for now … gotta get ready to take Chris to his College Workshop later tonight and I got some Band Booster stuff to take care of. Have a great night and big ole smile for my friend.

I have to remember that when I start a new workout plan, I shouldn’t overdue it. The main reason being I tend to get sick when I do. Well, I started a new routine this past Sunday and I am dying. I’ve added Pilates along with my weights and I want to start doing my step aerobics again. The running I’ve put aside for now because of my ankles. I’ve been doing crunches for the past two months and now that I’ve added the Pilates I just hurt all over in the mid section and my inner thighs.

Lately I have been in such a mood. I don’t know if it’s the hormones or the weather. I already have a short fuse and it seems that like the past week it’s a whole lot shorter. It could be PMS, who knows. I have an appointment with my OB next week to do a blood work up along with an ultrasound of my uterus. Something just doesn’t feel right. Wish me luck.

Has anyone ever tasted a chocolate dipped cheesecake from Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory? Those things are so awesome and rich I can only eat a bite or two … too darn rich for me. And now that Chris had to mention it earlier, I have to go out tomorrow and buy a piece to share.

Hope everyone is having a great week thus far. I may be going on a short trip within the next few weeks, I’ll keep you posted.

Until later …

Marketing Communications

Over the years, people have often asked me to explain the
various concepts of Marketing Communications. The following
analogies might help clarify the "tools of the trade."

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and say,
"I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Direct Marketing.

You're at a party with a bunch of friends and see a handsome
guy. One of your friends goes up to him and pointing at you
says, "She's fantastic in bed." -- That's Advertising.

You see a handsome guy at a party. You go up to him and get his
telephone number. The next day you call and say, "Hi, I'm
fantastic in bed." -- That's Telemarketing.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You get up and
straighten your dress. You walk up to him and pour him a drink.
You say, "May I," and reach up to straighten his tie brushing
your breast lightly against his arm, and then say, "By the way,
I'm fantastic in bed." -- That's Public Relations.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. He walks up to you and
says, "I hear you're fantastic in bed." -- That's Brand
Recognition.

You're at a party and see a handsome guy. You talk him into
going home with your friend. -- That's a Sales Rep.

Your friend can't satisfy him so he calls you. -- That's Tech
Support.

You're on your way to a party when you realize that there could
be handsome men in all these houses you're passing. So you
climb onto the roof of one situated toward the center and shout
at the top of your lungs, "I'm fantastic in bed!" -- That's Spam

25 Witty Things to Say to Your Doctor During a Pelvic or Prostate Exam

01. "Take it easy, Doc -- you're boldly going where no man has gone before."

02. "Hey, my chi is unblocking!"

03. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

04. "Can you hear me NOW? ...GOOD!"

05. "Oh, boy! That was sphincteriffic!"

06. "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?"

07. "You know, in some states, we're now legally married."

08. "Smith, Corporal, U.S. ARMY, 0291563!"

09. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

10. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out. You do the Hokey Pokey..."

11. "Ever seen 'The Crying Game'?"

12. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

13. "Doc, wanna see my Ned Beatty impression?"

14. "I love the smell of latex and K-Y in the morning. It smells like... victory!"

15. "Ever gut a squid?"

16. "If the hand doesn't fit, you must acquit!"

17. "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

18. "Does this gown make my cervix look fat?"

19. "Go slow, Doc -- I wanna learn how to do this for my friends."

20. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

21. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

22. "Say, Doc, how's about this time, I get on top?"

23. "Sometimes, when you touch, the honesty's too much, and I have to close my eyes and pee."

24. "Deflector shields: Down!"

25. "Get a camera! We can tell Ripley's Believe It or Not that we're the most unusual Siamese twins EVER!"

Short post tonight …

I don’t know what I’m gonna do with myself … baby is gone until Monday and the other two will be gone most of the weekend.

The weather has been crappy all week so I’ve put off most of my running. To make up for it I did do some aerobics and I’m still doing the weights. With the baby gone, I’ll probably head out to the gym and workout on the treadmill and stair climber.

Great job on finishing the marathon Ghost!

Jonathan is with his daddy this weekend. We took him to his 4-month physical this morning and he got another 4 shots. Dad went with baby this time to get the shots … you could hear him scream from the reception area … poor thing. It’s now 10pm and no phone call yet … I guess baby is doing well … I’ll call them in a bit … I miss my munky.

I’m done … bad headache … have a great weekend!

Men ... YOU CAN'T KILL EM!

Just put the finishing touches on my application for The Great Aloha Run. It will be on February 17. The race starts at 6:59am and the course is about 8 miles long starting from the Aloha Tower and ending at the Aloha Stadium. You’re supposed to put an estimated ending time on the form so they know what color you’ll be assigned to … and to be placed at the starting line. I’m guessing about 2 ½ hours for my time. Chris will be coming with me and I invited some of his friends to come along. The entrance fee is $22 and all of the proceeds will go to various charities around the state. I’ll also get a cool finisher’s shirt.

Happy Birthday JT!

I pampered myself the other day … I got me a total body massage from my friend Patty. She likes to do deep tissue and killing me in the process. I went to see her on Tuesday and I still have little bruises all over my back especially towards my neck. I guess it’s my fault … just a little … because I don’t say anything to her. I just need to see her more often like I used to before I got pregnant. Sometimes we swap massage stories and I crack up because some of my customers, especially the big burly-type men, try to make all macho but you can see them squirming so I tend to put a little more pressure than normal … hehe. Then you have the ones that are ticklish. I had this guy almost fall off the table once … scared the shit out of me because he made a whole production out of it.

I was going to comment on the President’s decision where North Korea is concerned … but I’ll save that for another time.

We’re about to go through another cold front and it’s been hella cold here … ok, shaddup all of you from the mainland. Right now it’s 64 degrees and I’m near freezing my ass off. I’m used to 85-degree weather most of the year and anything below 70 is freezing for me. We’re also getting ready for another swell on the north shore of all of the islands … they’re talking 20-30 foot waves.
I have a lifeguard friend out towards Waimea and he says it’s crazy out there. Especially with the tourist who don’t know about our undertow. That’s why I don’t go swimming there anymore. Even when the waves are just 1-2 feet it can get hard.

Hope everyone has a nice weekend …

So it seems that they have moved up the class reunion. It’s now July 24-28 with the banquet on the 26th. This just blows my previous plans to heck. The reunion will be in Vegas and now I have to decide what I want to do after. The original plan was to fly to New York to visit a bunch of people, but I don’t know now. I’ve also noticed that airfare is higher in July than it is in August. Another factor is that I was going to take up to two weeks off if it was in August. Now that it is in July, I may not be able to take that much time off. We’ll see what happens.

Another milestone happened today … Jonathan rolled over for the first time! I was thrilled. According to Sianna he would have done it yesterday if she weren’t in his way. She’s gonna be upset she missed it.

I better end for now and get some sleep while the baby is down. Been up late the past several nights and it’s catching up with me. Not that I’m complaining or anything … it was time spent worthwhile. I feel bad for last night though because I fell asleep way early. Anyway, have a great week, what’s left of it, and an even better weekend!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WRYGUY!

I’ve learned many years ago to just go with the flow. I no longer make resolutions I know eventually will be broken. I know that sounds negative, but come on … I have yet to meet the person who can actually say they made a resolution and kept it all year. All I can do now is look back at the old year and learn from mistakes that was made, smile at the good memories, and think about how I can become a better person in the new year and set goals for myself. So, with that in mind, I have set a big goal. There is actually a difference. Anyway, my goal this year is to run the Honolulu Marathon in December. Yes, I know a big goal. I’m determined, and knocking on wood nothing happens to me this year that would deter it from happening. There is a pending surgery, but if worse comes to worse that will take about 3 weeks away from training tops. The first step in my training is coming up next month called The Great Aloha Run. It’s an 8-mile course that starts at Aloha Tower Market Place and ends at the Aloha Stadium. I’ve done this one before and it’s a fun run to do. You see a lot of people with strollers and groups of people singing and laughing. You don’t have to run the complete course and all the monies go to charity.

This year will be a busy year not only for myself, but for Chris as well. Chris has two major trips he’ll be taking for band. His concert band (about 80 students) will be heading out to Vancouver for about 8 days. Then in October the whole marching band (300 plus students) will be going to Japan. When I found out about these trips last year I was most definitely going as a chaperone. Now with the baby the Vancouver trip is ifish at this time and I’ll be going to Japan for sure.

This year also marks my 20th high school reunion. It’s going to be in mid August … around the 16th. We have a website to vote the location and from what I hear Vegas is winning as the destination so far. I’m really looking forward to this. I’m already planning to take about two weeks off and take a long needed vacation. The reunion is probably going to be 4 days and I also plan on heading East to visit friends. My 10th reunion was a blast. It lasted the whole weekend. On the last night we must have closed down every club we went to. I remember getting home by about 7:30 in the morning. It’s been almost 14 years since I last went to Vegas and I am very much looking forward to partying there.

I’m finally getting around to reading everyone’s blogs again and I’ve noticed a second round of pregnancies. Congratulations to all that are expecting, I wish you nothing but joy with your new bundle.

I gotta run, but I will be back. Have a great weekend!

HAUOLI MAKAHIKI HOU!

well ... not for another hour ...

Akemashite omedeto gozaimasu.
(Best wishes on the beginning of a New Year)

Masumasu no gohatten o inotte orimasu.
(May even greater success lie ahead)

aloha

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Ten Signs You Bought A Bad Christmas Tree

10. IT's two feet tall, forty feet wide.

9. Salesman's opening line: "You're not a cop, are you?"

8. IT looks suspiciously like a broom handle with a lot of coat hangers stuck into IT.

7. While you sleep, IT gets liquored up and takes the family caravan fora joy ride.

6. Each branch has "Duraflame" printed on IT.

5. You brushed the door coming into the house, and now IT's totally bare.

4. IT's very small and says "Air Freshener" on IT.

3. Rabbis have better Christmas trees than yours.

2. Some guy named Akbar puts a cheap Statue of Liberty on top of IT.

1. IT's constantly bragging about ITs "trunk size".

On the 12th day of Christmas, AOL gave to me ...

12 reasons to cancel,
11 channels not working,
10 hours without mail,
9 frozen chat rooms,
8 hours of busy signals,
7 frozen IMs,
6 disconnection's,
5 web crashes,
4 idiots at tech help,
3 error messages,
2 pieces of junk mail,
and a jerk cursing in a chat room.

Totally Inappropriate Gift Ideas

4th runner up: Li'l Naturalist Hornet Farm

3rd runner up: A Pee Wee Herman pull toy

2nd runner up: The Duncan Yo -- Goes down, never comes back. Teaches
children about warranties

1st runner up: 5,200 pick up -- a jumbo deck of cards that lets kids play
a larger version of their favorite game

Winner: The "Learn about puberty chia pet"

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Honorable mentions:

Supersoaker 9000: For use on those hard to reach targets; NFL referees,
low flying planes, and many more. At close range it can strip paint
clean rusty grills, and dig utility trenches.

The laff-o-minit jajic spellin' tootor

Doggie dentist -- Kids learn about dentistry on the family pooch.

Cuisin-Art -- Turns mommy's food processor into a spinning paint tool.

Water retention Wanda -- Teaches kids the principles of the calendar.

Advanced play medical kit -- includes colonoscope and speculum.

Chocolate-covered lead soldiers

Bungeroo -- kid sized bungee kit for second story bedrooms

Islamic strip poker -- lose a hand, lose a hand.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME ...

and a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to AL

Top 10 Signs You're Sick of the Holidays

10. You've got red and green bags under your eyes

9. You're serving reindeer pot pie

8. When you hear, "Sleigh bells ring, are you listenin'?," you scream, "No! I'm not listening!"

7. You climb on your roof and start shooting carolers in the ass with your BB gun

6. You think you hear your Christmas tree taunting you.

5. Instead of spending time with family, you're watching some guy make photo copies

4. You're busted for running through town wearing nothing but mistletoe.

3. You've got eggnog coming out of your ears

2. Your standard response, "And happy holidays to you too, you bastard"

1. Two words: tinsel rash

Inner City Christmas Carols

(To the tune of Deck The Halls)

See that drag queen his name's Molly.
Fa La La La La La La La La
For 50 bucks he'll make you jolly.
Fa La La La La La La La La
See him in his gay apparel.
Fa La La La La La La La La
You should meet his brother Carol.
Fa La La La La La La La La

(To The Tune Of We Wish You A Merry Christmas)

We wish you a happy hearing,
we wish you a happy hearing,
We wish you a happy hearing,
and we hope you make bail!

(To The Tune Of Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer)

Rudolph the red nosed wino,
Had a very shiny nose,
And if you got too close to him,
He would take off his clothes.
All of the other winos,
Used to laugh and call him names,
They never let poor Rudolph,
Join in any wino games.
Then one chilly Christmas Eve,
Rudolph froze to death in an alley.
End of story.

(Then there's my favorite rendition of an old holiday classic...)

'Twas The night before Christmas,
And all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring,
So I took their stereo.

Happy Baking!

Christmas Cake

Ingredients:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
1 bottle Jose Quervo Tequilla
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the Quervo to check quality.

Take a large bowl, check the Quervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Quervo is still OK, try another cup ... just in case

Turn off the mixerer thingy.

Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.

Pick the frigging fruit off floor...Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the Quervo to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a shit. Check the Jose Quervo.

Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.

Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window, Finish the Jose Quervo and kick the cat.

CHERRY MISTMAS!

Top 10 Signs of Trouble in Santa's Marriage


10. He's replaced all the elves with scantily clad Swedish exchange students

9. Mrs. Claus calls him "that fat freak in the red underwear"

8. He traded in his sleigh for a van with a waterbed

7. He's been spending a little too much time with the life-sized Holiday Barbie

6. His new live-in personal elf valet, Steve

5. Mrs. Claus having cybersex relationship with accountant from New Jersey

4. He knows when she's been sleeping, he knows when she's awake, because he's bugged the bedroom

3. Lately, she keeps "forgetting" to tie her robe when she brings the elves their morning coffee

2. Stockings aren't the only things he's been nailing in front of the fireplace

1. Not a creature is stirring in Santa's pants

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOHN!

Carols For the Psychiatrically Challenged

SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?

MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER: We Three Kings Disoriented Are

DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas

NARCISSISTIC: Hark, the Herald Angels Sing About Me

MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and . . .

PARANOID: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me

PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why

DEPRESSION: Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia, All Is Flat, All Is Lonely

OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, ........ (better start again)

PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE PERSONALITY: On The First Day of Christmas My True Love Gave To Me (and then took it all away)

BORDERLINE PERSONALITY DISORDER: Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire.

What a difference 30 years makes:

1972: Long hair
2002: Longing for hair

1972: The perfect high
2002: The perfect high yield mutual fund

1972: KEG
2002: EKG

1972: Acid rock
2002: Acid reflux

1972: Moving to California because it's cool
2002: Moving to California because it's warm

1972: Growing pot
2002: Growing pot belly

1972: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2002: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1972: Seeds and stems
2002: Roughage

1972: Popping pills, smoking joints
2002: Popping joints

1972: Killer weed
2002: Weed killer

1972: Hoping for a BMW
2002: Hoping for a BM

1972: The Grateful Dead
2002: Dr. Kevorkian

1972: Going to a new, hip joint
2002: Receiving a new hip joint

1972: Rolling Stones
2002: Kidney Stones

1972: Being called into the principal's office
2002: Calling the principal's office

1972: Screw the system
2002: Upgrade the system

1972: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2002: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1972: Taking acid
2002: Taking antacid

1972: Passing the drivers' test
2002: Passing the vision test

1972: Whatever
2002: Depends

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today, this will certainly
change things. Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin
puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the
mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's last year's list:

The people who are started college last fall(2001) across the
nation were born in 1983.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

Bottle caps have always been screw off and plastic.

The CD was introduced the year they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable.

They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.

Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: "Where's the Beef?", "I'd walk a mile for a
Camel", or "de plane Boss, de plane".

They do not care who shot J. R. and have no idea who J. R. even is.

Michael Jackson has always been white.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Just finished ordering my Colon Blow for my beginning of the year detox. I know, I know … yes, I am breastfeeding. The program is 3 doses taking one dose every 10 days. I’ll have enough milk in the freezer to cover the time it takes the colon blow to leave my system. The baby is down to breastmilk only two times a day now and on formula 3 times a day and I’ll be pumping to keep my supply.

Aunt Flo has left the building and Sianna is back to being her normal self (and the difference was?? ). I took her clothes shopping last night to get her some jeans and darker colored pants and shorts because all she has in her wardrobe are mostly white and beige items.

Chris and I will be heading off to Kinko’s to take our passport photo. We were told that we needed a passport for the Vancouver trip in March. As I remembered, you didn’t need one for Canada, but apparently you do now. Either way, we need one for Japan next October.

Hope everyone is doing well. I have major baking to do for Thanksgiving … this years orders is not so big … just 10 pumpkin crunch pies, 42 cream cheese pies, and 3 NY style cheesecakes.

Have a great Thanksgiving!

The road to womanhood …

As most of you have guessed by now from my attempt at writing a haiku, that Sianna has started her period. The past few months showed signs of it but I didn’t think it was going to happen until she reached the 7th or 8th grade. Heck, she’s just 3 months younger than I was when I first started mine. I had just turned 12 and was in the middle of the 7th grade. Se’s in the middle of her 6th grade year. Out of her little clique of 6 at school, she is the second to the last of her friends to have it, and let me tell you … life has been a bitch in my home (and it’s only been 3 days now).

The poor thing though. She was cramping really bad the past two days so I gave her some of my Midol. We’ve had the “talk” several times and I felt that we needed to refresh some of the conversations we had over the years about the topic. Chris has been NO help whatsoever. I’m part to blame as well. She’s easily irritated and we kinda made things worse yesterday …hey, it was all in good fun to make her smile. After all was said and done, I gave her a hug and a kiss on her forehead. After all, she’s my baby girl no matter what. I also reminded her that she has another 40 more years of the crap!

CONGRATULATIONS CHYNAKATT!!

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS:

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


OFFICE ARITHMETIC:

Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH:

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS:

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS:

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.


LONGEVITY:

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE:

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE:

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Sianna's Haiku
by Me:

My sweet baby girl
The years have gone by so fast
Dammit it's Aunt Flo

Where the HELL is everyone??

HAPPY BIRTHDAY GHOST!

I love being a mother. I think one of the best times in a child’s life is when they are babies. The only thing I don’t like about it is shot time. I’ve been trying to get either one of the kids or John to come with me on Tuesday when I take Chub-Chub (Christopher’s pet name for Jonathan) to get his 2 month shots. I know I’m going to end up crying like a bitch as usual. They don’t want to come with me because they don’t want to see him cry as well. So, I’m the bad guy once again.

Jonathan has been the little socialite lately. He’s even starting to giggle. He cracks me up. It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a baby afraid of his own farts. It’s mostly when he makes those loud exploding ones. His nose and eyebrows starts to turn beet red then all hell breaks loose. He’s even starting to scoot a little when he’s on his tummy. I crack up because he doesn’t go in a straight line, or even close to it, he goes in circles. Even in his crib when he sleeps at night. I can put him down with his head on one side and when I go to check on him a few hours later or for a feeding his head winds up on the opposite side. And yes JT, he still has red hair although it’s more like a copper color now.

I gotta run for now … the master is calling me … laters!

So it seems my 20th year high school reunion is coming up next August. We get to actually vote for the location this year at a website they have set up. The choices are either the Hale Koa Hotel on the 16th, renting a Waikiki nightclub on the same night, or Las Vegas on either the weekend of the 9th, 16th, or 23rd. From what I am told it’s steering more towards Las Vegas. So for those of you who have been asking when my next trip to the mainland was going to be, it looks like I’ll be in Nevada next year. Hey Jake, maybe we can meet up … bring CJ with ya too.

The past two days President Arroyo of the Philippines was here for a conference. From about 7:30 in the morning (during heavy traffic) a section between Honolulu International Airport and Waikiki was blocked off for her motorcade. People were in a standstill for up to an hour. What irks me about this is that for several days before her arrival, it was announced all over the media about her visit and details of the motorcade … you know, exact routes, what hotel she was staying in, etc. Anyone who wanted to assassinate the President could have done so. Why do they have to announce intimate details like that? Not only do you put her and her people in danger; you put other motorists in danger as well. Ex President Clinton will be here next week. All that was mentioned in the media was that he was coming. No details as to where he was going, what hotel he was staying in (I’m sure they’ll announce THAT later), or what route he was taking from the airport to his destination.

Good to see Ghost is back.

Well, Halloween is right around the corner … my favorite night of the year next to New Years Eve. Usually, I would dress in my costume and either head out to Waikiki or go on the annual ‘Boo’ cruise. Not this year. I’m taking my baby trick or treating. Too young you say? You’re never too young or too old to trick or treat. Chris will be on Kauai for band. Sianna will trick or treat with her friends. So it will be me, Jonathan, and my brother and his kids that night.

I’m tired so I’m gonna jet. Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Dear Abby

Dear Abby:
I have been engaged for almost a year. I am to be married next month.
My fiancee's mother is not only very attractive but really great and
understanding. She is putting the entire wedding together and invited
me to her place to go over the invitation list because it had grown a
bit beyond what we had expected it to be.
When I got to her place we reviewed the list and trimmed it down to
just under a hundred ... then she floored me.
She said that in a month I would be a married man and that before that
happened, she wanted to have sex with me. Then she just stood up and
walked to her bedroom and on her way said that I knew where the front door
was if I wanted to leave. I stood there for about five minutes and finally decided that I knew
exactly how to deal with this situation. I headed straight out the front door...
There, leaning against my car was her husband, my father-in-law to be.
He was smiling. He explained that they just wanted to be sure I was a
good kid and would be true to their little girl. I shook his hand and he
congratulated me on passing their little test.
Abby, should I tell my fiancee' what her parents did, and that I
thought their "little test" was asinine and insulting to my character?
Or should I keep the whole thing to myself including the fact that the
reason I was walking out to my car was to get a condom?

When you are sad,
...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge
against the sorry fuck who made you sad.

When you are blue,
...I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile,
..I'll know you finally got laid.

When you are scared,
...I will rag you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried,
...I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and to quit bitching & whining.

When you are confused,
...I will use little words to explain it to your
dumb ass.

When you are sick,
...stay away from me until you're well again.
I don't want whatever cooties you have.

When you fall,
...I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

This is my oath,
I pledge 'til the end.
Why you may ask?
Because you're my friend!


P.S. A friend will help you move.
A really good friend will help you move a body.  

Gonna try and make it short while Sianna is feeding her brother.

Let’s see … where to start …

I can’t believe Jonathan will be a month old this coming Friday. Time is flying by so fast! Pretty soon he’ll be walking around creating all kinds of havoc.

This time around has been a real experience. It all started in the operating room. Everything went well … well, if you call getting poked twice in the back because the spinal didn’t take the first time, then I guess it went well. My niece Annette was the lucky contestant to come into the OR with me … everyone else was either too young or too squeamish about seeing the procedure. What usually takes anywhere from 15 minutes to half an hour, for the cesarean, took almost an hour because my doctor had a resident with him and he was talking her through everything. That was fine with me. I was having too much fun talking story with the anesthesiologist and Annette. Then Jonathan came out. The first thing out of everyone’s mouth was “wow, he has red hair”. Red it was, and still is. After weighing him and all that good stuff, they had him under a warmer to do the apgar and some other things. All the while he was peeing all over the place. I think he got all the nurses … good boy. Anyway, as soon as they took him out of me I started to feel quite uncomfortable. It was like I was having a really bad stomach ache. It quickly progressed into the feeling like someone was ripping my insides out. I asked the anesthesiologist if I was supposed to be feeling anything down there. He told me that that was not a good thing. The spinal was wearing off REAL fast. My doctor got upset because he was promised at least an hour and a half before anything wore off. Needless to say Annette had to leave the room because they were going to proceed to put me under with a general anesthesia. The next thing I knew I woke up in the recovery room.

I was discharged with Jonathan 4 days later. By the fifth day he dropped down to 7 lbs 1oz. We had a lactation nurse drop by who weighed him and told me she was concerned because although babies do lose a small amount of weight after birth, they usually do not lose a pound and two ounces like he did. My milk hadn’t come in yet because of the trauma my body experienced during the operation. Jonathan almost had to be admitted that night and was supposed to have stayed there until he gained all the weight back. Luckily he didn’t have to and against my feelings about supplementing with formula her supervisor wanted me to do just that. It’s now three weeks later and he has filled-out rather nicely. As of last week Monday, he weighed 8 lbs 11 oz. I’m guessing he now weighs close to 9 and a half pounds.

More later … he’s cranky and Sianna is stressed. Have a great week!

For all of you who were worried about me, I’m doing fine. Sorry for not keeping you all posted on a timely matter but I was in and out of Labor and Delivery for two weeks and was finally told to stay in bed.

Now the news…

Jonathan Caleb Greene was born on Wednesday, September 4 at 10:27am Hawaii Time. He weighed in at 8-lbs. 3 oz and was 20 ¼ inches long. He has reddish blond hair, which I’m still getting used to because the other two had dark hair. Luckily all his blood tests came out normal, no trace of low blood glucose because of my gestational diabetes. The only concern they had was that when they weighed him last night, he had dropped to 7-lbs. 4 oz. The first 30 hours he hardly ate. All he wanted to do was sleep. I have a nurse coming over tomorrow to weigh him and monitor his progress. He’s eating fine now … in fact, he eats about every two and half-hours. Other than that, we’re doing fine. The only other thing that stood out from this experience was what happened in the OR … but I’ll save that story for another post.

Sorry WryGuy about the e-mail thing … I keep forgetting to unblock my mail preferences … I was getting a lot of crap in my mail lately and decided to block everything that was not AOL.

To everyone else, thanks those who sent me well wishes. Thanks to the gang at my hangout for the flowers, they were beautiful! Oh … and the winner of the baby pool was a tie between MB and CJ … I’ll be expecting my check soon guys … hehe.

I have a lot of blogs to catch up reading on … I missed reading your posts and I can’t wait to see what’s been going on in my absense.

Pictures are coming soon …

Laters

CONGRATS TO WRYGUY AND ALICIA!
And welcome baby Nicholas to this wacky, wonderful world.

My, how fast a year have gone. Yesterday John and I made a year together ... we're going to do the anniversary thing probably after the baby gets here. Between work and getting things ready around the house has made me extremely tired to do anything else.

Anyway, hope you all had a great weekend.

I was listening to one of my favorite morning radio programs yesterday while doing errands and one of the discussions were about a vacation two of the DJ’s took to the Big Island last week. As I was listening to this, I couldn’t help remembering some of the people I came across over the years with similar experiences they had. For example:

Hawaii became a State on August 21, 1959. I know this not only because we learned this in History classes, but it’s a State Holiday as well. A tourist was overheard talking, rather speaking in a loud voice (like the worker couldn’t understand English), to a Hotel worker asking to exchange her money for our currency. Ok dumbasses out there … Hawaii IS one of the 50 states and we DO have the same currency! Oh, and we do speak English here as well. Which brings me to another story. I was in New York for the first time back in January of ’98 to meet Ghost, Logi and Skye. We went out to drinking one night and met up with some of their friends. I started talking to the girlfriend of one of their friends and about 15 minutes into our conversation she learned that I was from Hawaii. I thought I was going to die laughing … this knucklehead then asked me if I could speak English. What the hell were we doing the last 15 minutes?? I know she was intoxicated and all, but what the fuck?

I’ve been on the internet for over 5 years now and I’d have to say that about 40% of the people I’ve met still actually think that people in Hawaii live in grass huts and drive on unpaved roads. That’s really sad. And they say the education system here sucks? What the hell are they teaching the kids on the mainland? Another tourist was overheard as he was looking out his window when they were about to land “wow … people do actually live here.” Like the state of Hawaii is one big military installation or one big hotel chain for tourists.

Enough of my ranting.

Good to see Logi is still alive … thanks for the offer and I will most definitely take you up on it. I’m supposed to pick up the CD with the pictures next week so I’ll e-mail you then.

I have been in and out of the labor and delivery room these past two weeks it isn’t funny. I’ve been contracting like crazy and if I go back one more time, I’m far along enough that they will not stop them anymore. At least I know for sure now that we’re having a boy. I was in L&D this past Thursday to do a non-stress test and after monitoring the baby, they did an ultrasound. The doctor asked me if I knew what we were having and I laughed as I looked at the screen and told him I know for sure now. His pee pee was right there on the screen in full glory just bobbing away for all to see. We looked at each other and laughed our heads off.

I seem to be burning fat again and not gaining any weight. So now I have three appointments to see what the hell is going on with me this week. It’s already been mentioned that I may have to be admitted if this keeps up so they can monitor what I eat. Hey, I don’t take these things likely … especially with the gestational diabetes. I’m supposed to be on a 2200 calorie/day diet and I still lose weight on that. That’s a lot of food and I do admit that most days I can’t even eat that much. I’m down to practically forcing myself to eat a little something every hour.

It’s naptime and I’m extremely tired. I’ve been sleeping a lot lately. I guess I’d better get all the sleep in as I can now before the marathon of waking up every two to three hours begin, eh?

Hope everyone is well … enjoy the rest of the week!

I am exhausted. It’s 11pm, Sunday night, and I finally took my shower and finished cleaning up the place. I can’t believe the baby shower is already tomorrow … it seems like the invites went out only yesterday. Sianna has been looking forward to this all week. My best friend Mary is hosting the party at her home. We were there earlier today cleaning and dropping stuff off for tomorrow. I think I over did it a bit. I’ve been contracting all day. I’m ready for bed.

I had a prenatal visit this past Friday and all the necessary paperwork is done. If all things go well, I’ll be popping this baby out on September 4 at about 8am via c-section along with a tubal ligation … no more kiddies for me. My hospital stay will be about 3 days … compared to the 5-day stay with the other two.

I finally gained a pound and a half this past week! My weight gain is now at 19.5 lbs. Before I forget, can someone out there drop me an e-mail as how to make a webpage to post pictures? My scanner broke and from now on I’ll probably put all my pictures onto CD when I get them developed. Your help is much appreciated.

I am cramping way too much so I’m going to end here. Hope you all had a great weekend as I did. I’ll finally have pictures up soon for all to see.

Love ya …

discover what candy you are @ stvlive.com

Take the Boob Test

I got 19 out of 20 (I got the last one wrong) ... it said I'm a real pro! HAHA!

Hmmm … for whatever reason blogger didn’t want to post my stuff earlier.

It’s all pretty much set. I’m talking about my hospital stay. I’ve been on this diet for my gestational diabetes for about a month now and you bet I have some cravings. If I remember correctly, I’ll be on a liquid diet for the first 30 hours after the surgery … nothing but broth, juice, milk, jello, and water. I have started a list of things I want to eat while I’m there. Loved ones have each been assigned (or will be assigned) to bring the following when they visit:

1. Pizza – I would like extra cheese on that baby.
2. Ice cream – a pint from Dave’s, banana or course, and Dreyer’s Chocolate Brownie Fudge
3. A big ole cheeseburger … even if it’s from McDonald’s … the greasier, the better.
4. A can of Coke and a can of Sprite.

That should cover me the four days I’m in the hospital. And really, I’m not asking for too much.

Actually, if I plan it carefully, I could eat all of those things now, but I wouldn’t get to fully enjoy them. The diabetes will be gone when the placenta leaves my body and I shouldn’t have to worry about what I eat or the quantity. I still need to monitor my glucose levels for two weeks after I give birth, but I have been assured that everything will be just fine.

I finally gained some weight … a whole half a pound! My goal for the next two weeks is to gain a full pound cause I have some catching up to do.

I have anywhere from 6 weeks to 7 weeks before the big day and as far as I’m concerned, they can take him out already. John, however, says not yet … he still needs to bake some more. It’s all a waiting game now and I hope it goes by faster when we finally set a date for the c-section. I can imagine, and probably did have the same feelings, all the emotions and anxieties the two of you, WryGuy and Alicia, are having. I had just turned 21 when I had Chris and I was eating up all the attention I was getting and enjoying the excitement … until the birthing stories started circulating …the horror stories about long labor, the pain, blah blah blah. I was in labor for 26 hours total with the last 4 on pitocin. I couldn’t dilate past 5 cm and ended with a c-section. The upside to all of this was that you really do forget all the pain. Nature is truly kind. I wish Alicia a speedy delivery and don’t forget the magic word … epidural.

Well, tomorrow I have an appointment with my dietician … I am now up to 2200 calories a day. If you ask me, that is way too much for me to consume … most days I can’t even come close to that. But hey, it helps me to not spill keytones and it is for the well being of my little man.

Until later …

The ultrasound went well yesterday. Baby is doing great … it looked like he was having a party in there. The usual was done; measurements of the baby, etc. Baby now measures about 16 ½ inches and weighs about 3lbs and 14 oz. All this just by measuring the thighbone. Then we did the other kind of ultrasound … I call it the magic wand ultrasound. After about two minutes the doctor announced that my cervix looked good. I just need to take it easy, but things looked ok. I even requested the doctor to check to make sure I was having a boy. He laughed. Baby was in breach position so when you’re looking from the bottom you’ll tend to see feet, and feet we saw. He was just kicking away like he did all day. But alas, we saw no pee pee. Just feet.

Chris and I went to pick up his prescription glasses today. The glasses makes him look like he’s 20 or so. I jokingly said that he finally looks smart … hehe … he just snarled at me while his friend laughed.

Time to start dinner and I guess I should feed the kids. Have a great weekend!

My prenatal went like this … I’m already dilating and I have a very soft cervix that led to my doctor to schedule an ultrasound this Thursday. Other than that, the baby is moving well and has a healthy heartbeat. As for me, this whole diabetes thing has me confused. I can eat the same thing, let’s say for breakfast, everyday and have different readings. I can see a few points here and there in difference, but to eat the same things over and over and have my scores off by like 20mg/dl has me miffed. I see the Diabetes Specialist tomorrow and I’m trying everything I can to gain that one pound she wanted me to gain. I haven’t been feeling all that great since yesterday and it did affect what I ate, or the lack of. Thanks for all the well wishes and concern that has been expressed to me … you guys are great!

It’s that time I take a nap … I work early tonight and I’m exhausted. Until later …

Thought I’d make an entry before I get ready for my prenatal this morning.

Chris had his audition yesterday for marching band to see what he’ll be playing for the season. He made it for bells and quads. He picked to play the quads. When I was in high school, we didn’t have quads nor did any other school. I played the tri-toms back then when I wasn’t a flag girl. The band has a big percussion section this year … 23 people. They plan to have a large pit section to utilize all the students. They’re even asking other students who play different instruments to defect to the percussion section. Opening number is music from ‘Ben Hur’. They plan to have a percussion feature/solo this season to make up for not having one last year along with some other surprises.

Sianna is out gallivanting this weekend. She’s at a sleep over till tomorrow and grandpa will be taking her to the water park all day tomorrow for a company party.

It’s been raining most of the morning and we’re supposed to have gusts of up to 30 mph all weekend. John is out fishing with some friends and will probably come by later tonight after I get off from work.

Well, I need to start getting ready. Love you all …

It’s been a little over a week since I’ve been on my new diet. I had an appointment Wednesday with the Diabetes Technician and she announced that I had lost three pounds since I last saw her, which was a week earlier. Needless to say I got scolded. I tell you … I can’t win … I’m told not to gain too much weight, then I get in trouble for losing weight on a diet THEY put me on! So now I have to gain at least a pound by my next visit on Tuesday.

Well … the invitations are done, maps all made, and the food and games are all planned. My baby shower given by my friend Mary will be on July 22nd. Right now the guest list has 32 people on it. The group of people on the list, at least the majority of them, are from my job and let me tell you … they are a bunch of wild women. It should get pretty interesting that night … especially game time.

It’s time to check my blood level … hope you all have a great weekend!

It’s been confirmed … I have gestational diabetes. Two out of the four tubes of blood they drew last week came out abnormal. Now I have to see a specialist and a dietitian today. I also see my OB on Saturday for a prenatal. I’ve been cranky the last 20 hours without being able to have any form of sugar. It’s not like I eat the stuff all the time … I do like to have an occasional red whip or two just about everyday. We’re going to try and control the diabetes by monitoring my diet. I have to check the blood levels everyday and if that fails I have to take insulin. Although the diabetes goes away after giving birth, there’s still a 50/50 chance that later in life I’ll have the real thing.

It’s time for aerobics so I’m off.

Maui turned out to be fun … for once. The boat we went to see turned out to be a piece of crap. The mechanic furnished some information he soon realized that he shouldn’t have about it … like the fact that the boat broke down several miles off of shore only to be rescued by the coast guard. According to John the inside was really nice, it’s just some of the stuff that broke down would have cost him anywhere up to $6000 to fix. I got to have lunch at my favorite restaurant, Koho’s, but once again I had no room for dessert after eating the taco salad I love there. John had the salad as well and the mahi quesadillas … which turned out to be pretty good. We stayed mainly in Wailuku and Kahului, only because it was a last minute trip. Before we headed to the airport the next day, we stopped by Homemade Bakery to pick up a bunch of mochi and manju … things they’re famous for on Maui. We’re thinking about taking one more trip before the baby gets here … perhaps to Kauai. We’re also planning to take outer island trips at least 3-4 times a year. If we don’t make it before the baby is born, we’re going to take the family and celebrate mine and John’s birthdays in December.

Lately I have been really excited … we’re house hunting. We found several places and I plan on calling the realtor tomorrow to schedule a showing. I was hoping to buy my mother’s house but my stepdad isn’t sure on what he wants to do with it yet. I love that house … it’s huge and spacious, it has a big ass a/c, an awesome view of Diamond Head, and it just plain relaxing there. The kids miss the house as well … lots of memories there.

Chris is studying to take his permit test … I can’t believe how fast the years went by. He won’t be able to get his license until May though. New Hawaii law, it is required that you take driver’s education … a 50 hour course … before you can take the road test. I think that’s a good thing. They should have done that back when I was in high school. His eyes have been bothering him lately … he says things that are farther away are blurry. So, I have to schedule an appointment for him tomorrow.

Well, I haven’t gotten a call yet from my doctor about the retest. I’m assuming that I did better this second time. Just in case, I have been eating pretty much as close to the diet I was on as possible … kinda. I have a prenatal on Saturday so I’ll know for sure then. Other than that, baby is doing well. He just needs to adopt my sleeping schedule. When I want to sleep, he kicks up a storm. He gets the hiccups a lot now. The kids and John just tease the crap out of me … everything from how wide I look to laughing their heads off when I can’t get off the couch or out of bed … those punks! Ah … it’s just two more months.

Hope everyone is doing well … glad to see Logi is back blogging. Hope all is well with WryGuy and Alicia.

Until later …

Have a great weekend everyone! I’ll be on Maui with John … we leave in 2 hours … we’re flying up there to check out a boat he wants to buy and plan to stay overnight. We’re also going to check out a couple of nude beaches ... hehe.

Well … I found out yesterday that I ‘flunked’ my glucose test. Now I have to be on a special diet (starting today) over the weekend. I go back on Monday to retake the test only this time I have to hang out at the hospital over the course of the morning to draw blood 4 times, once every hour for three hours. This test will determine if I have gestational diabetes or not. I also got the results of my HCT and HGB test … as usual I’m anemic again so I have to double my dose of iron until the end of the pregnancy.

Chris found out he’s going to Canada in March for concert band. He’s also going to Maui for marching band. There’s a general band booster meeting next week Tuesday to discuss the upcoming trips as well as fundraising. This year, the marching band will be performing at one of UH’s football games. I’m going to try and get a gig for that performance as a chaperone.

I have a busy weekend to look forward to … especially with graduation and chauffeuring Chris all over the place. This diet I’m on came at a stressful time … I’ll be a bitch all weekend, but it’s for a wonderful cause and it’s only three days ( I keep telling myself that). But hey … at least it’s not a restricted diet.

Hope you guys have a fantastic weekend … see ya back here Monday!

I feel loved ... thanks for all the well-wishes!The following is a conversation I had with my 6 year-old niece the other day:

Nicole: “Aunty Nancy, does the baby inside you get scared when you fart?”

Hapa: “what?”

Nicole: “does the baby get scared when you fart?”

Hapa: “I have no idea Nicole … by the way, where’s your dad?”

Ahh … the minds of little ones …

I survived yet another glucose screening. It tasted pretty good actually. I didn’t feel it until about 15 minutes later. I’ll get a call in a few days if it turns out that I do have gestational diabetes. I now see my doc every three weeks. We had a long discussion today. Despite being highly uncomfortable this pregnancy, there’s still a part of me that would like to have another one … a girl. Then reality set in by what I was told. Because of all the scarring I got from the previous c-sections, miscarriages, and the laparoscopy two years ago, this time around posses a threat. I was told that the placenta is low-lying … or a condition called placenta previa. There’s still a slight chance that it could get higher as my belly grows, but the ultrasound I had weeks ago shows that the placenta is practically touching my cervix. This led into the next discussion. There’s a possibility that I may need a hysterectomy … that would be near worse case scenario … because of the hemorrhaging. We’ll be setting up appointments for ultrasounds to monitor what’s going on and if worse comes to worse, I’ll be spending the last several weeks in the hospital.

It’s 11:30pm and I think I’ll head out to John’s boat. It’s a lot cooler than it was earlier this evening.

I gained 5 pounds this past month … ugh.